Oi! Scarlett, if you're reading this, I love you
Life's A Bitch
By: guess
Word count: 880
Warnings: sadness, as usual
Note: ily guys (Hi, @cocainelarry) AU - Ang is 27 and it's set modern day. And House references everywhere!!!
They were talking to me but I couldn't hear them. All I heard was ringing in my ears. Bon placed his hand on my shoulder and I wanted to tell him to fuck off but my lips didn't move. I was paralysed. I saw doctor Hadley say something to Malcolm but I couldn't care less about what it was. All I wanted was to run out of that room and never return. I only drank once in my entire life but suddenly, getting wasted seemed like a great idea. Malcolm was biting his lip, staring at a sheet of paper. Then, doctor Hadley left the room and the ringing slowly subsided. I blinked a few times, feeling myself regaining control of my body again.
"Let go." I hissed to Bon and he did, sighing. I saw him blinking away tears. I stood up and stumbled over to my brother, grabbing the page from him. I tried to read it but the letters kept dancing around on the page. I looked over at Bon who was leaning against a wall, blankly staring. I then glanced at his pockets and sure enough, I saw the outline of his hip flask. I rushed over and took it out, getting his attention.
"What are you doing?" I didn't answer, shaking it. Hearing the liquid slosh around inside, I opened it and drank the contents in one gulp. The burning in the back of my throat was oddly comforting. I wanted more. I felt around in my own pockets and found a packet of cigarettes. Walking up to the window, I cracked it open and lit one of them, staring at the grey clouds hanging low in the sky.
"Angus, stop." Bon mumbled, taking the smoke from my hands and throwing it out the window.
"I'm gonna die anyway, might as well." I replied, lighting another. Mal, who had been staring at me, sighed and stormed out, slamming the door.
"Angus, for fuck's sake, you're not gonna die yet. Do you want to? Cause if you do, then by all means, keep doing what caused this in the first place."
"Your liver's shot but I don't tell you to stop drinking, do I?"
"Actually, yeah you do."
"I see why you do it now." I muttered, feeling myself getting woozy. Mixed with the nicotine, it felt as though everything was alright again. Like I didn't have such a close expiration date. Like I was perfectly healthy.
The drive home was silent apart from the sound of rain hitting the roof. When we arrived, I took a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and stalked off to my room, locking the door. Bon seemed to sense that I wanted to be alone because he didn't knock on my door until two hours later as I was halfway through the bottle. I stumbled over and unlocked it, letting him in. Walking in, my boyfriend stared at me pitifully. I ignored it and collapsed onto my bed again.
"God damn it, Ang." Bon sighed, sitting beside me and pulling me into his arms. We sat in silence while tears streamed down my cheeks.
"I'm scared," I sobbed into his shoulder after a while, "I don't wanna die!"
"Doctor Hadley said that with chemo and radiation, you have a pretty good shot at beating this. Don't self-destruct or you'll make it worse. Stop smoking, drinking and staying up all night-"
"One, I never drank before, two, I'm usually up all night cause of you." Bon chuckled.
"That's probably true. But look, no matter what, I'll always be there for you. Always."
"Promise?"
"Yeah. I promise." I began to calm down slightly but my head was spinning and the crying didn't help. I felt myself going limp in his arms before all I saw was darkness.
I woke up the next morning in Bon's bed. I knew it was before I even opened my eyes because he was playing with my hair silently. When I did open my eyes, I realised the room was darkened and that there was a bucket next to me with a glass of water and bottle of aspirin on the bedside table.
"Thanks." I croaked, already starting to feel crappy. "Better get used to this."
"Shut up." He whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "You're gonna be fine." I felt a pang of guilt when I realised he was hurting even more than me.
"I'm sorry." Bon shook his head, smiling sadly. I took the meds and lay back down, staring at the cream ceiling. "I'm gonna lose my hair."
"Maybe you won't, maybe you will. Either way, you're beautiful to me."
"I'm gonna feel like I do now, for weeks."
"I'm not gonna tell you it'll be fine and that it won't suck cause that's a lie, but you can make the most of it."
"Huh." I scoffed, glancing at him. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Bon leaned down to kiss my forehead and I took a shaky breath.
"I'm going to die."
