Alistair
By: Jodie
Word count: 583
Warnings: mentions of suicide
Note: quick angsty oneshot I wrote while talking to Scarlett about whether or not Bon's death was really an accident. Enjoy! (PS: unedited)
Alistair's phone rings at three am. He groggily answers, "Yeah?" For a moment, the other end of the line is silent and Alistair almost hangs up. Then, a sniffle lets him know someone is really there. "Who is this?"
"Bon." The voice answers and sure enough, it is. Immediately, Alistair is awake. Bon doesn't cry, he thinks.
"What happened?"
"Al, I'm about to do something really stupid. Help me."
"Bon?! What the fuck? Where are you?" Alistair asks as he quickly buckles his pants and he stuffs his feet into his shoes. Bon sobs, though he's trying to hide it. "I'm at home. The guys are out somewhere, I can't remember where. I need you, Alistair, please!" He sounds desperate, Alistair notes, quickly shrugging on a coat and grabbing his car keys.
"I'll be there in ten. Don't do anything."
Arriving at Bon's, he looks worse than Alistair imagined. He had never seen his friend cry before and it was honestly terrifying.
"What are you planning?"
"For it to look like an accident." Alistair doesn't know why he agrees. Assisted suicide is not legal and it's not moral. Not to Al, anyway.
"How...?"
"Poison."
"Poison isn't an accident, Bon, and I'm not gonna take the blame."
"I'm going to drink myself to death." Alistair is silent as he thinks this through.
"It'll hurt."
"I know."
"There are more peaceful ways to go out."
"I know."
"When?"
"Tomorrow night."
"Why did you ask me for help?" Alistair can't help but wonder.
"You're the only person I know who will help me."
"I'll get in trouble, I'll get blamed, this is not okay-" He's beginning to regret this. Bon stares at him helplessly.
"You have to help me."
"No, I don't. You don't have to kill yourself."
"I can't handle this anymore, Al! I've had enough hiding from Angus, from the others. I'm done with this... This alter ego I show the world. I can't be myself but I don't want to be whoever the hell I am when I'm onstage!" He's beginning to get angry. Alistair doesn't blame him.
"Bon, have you thought this through?"
"Of course I bloody have!" Bon pauses to wipe away his tears, "I've been planning this since Ang got married."
"Bon..."
"Stop! Either help me or get out. I don't need your pity and I don't need you to try to talk me out of it."
They have a staring match for a long while. Alistair looks away first.
"What do you need me to do?"
He watches helplessly as Bon drinks four straight whiskies in a glass. He watches as his friend gets more and more intoxicated until he finally passes out. He phones Silver, like planned. She tells him what she was supposed to and hangs up. Alistair somehow manages to get Bon into his car, leaves him a note (evidence to help him in case of court) and covers him with a blanket. He makes sure Bon lies flat. Then, Alistair goes to sleep. Tries to. It's hard over the sound of his blood pumping in his ears. His head hurts. He wants to cry. He regrets agreeing, but he helped his friend. Nothing he says to himself works. Alistair can't chase away the fact that he helped his friend die.
