The truth

chapter 7 - prison

My dad was in prison and my mom visited him
sometimes, but she didn't want me to go with her.
She didn't want me to see all this.

But then they brought my dad to another prison.
It was more like a clinic for people with problems
like addiction.
It was a bit more harmless than the "real"
prison. He could work there and get healed
from his addiction.
This was the prison where I visited him a lot, there was a little room where kids could play in but it definitely wasn't a happy place, imagine people are telling you how long you're allowed to see your dad and where.
I also visited him a lot with my grandpa, we got some nice food for him and his friends, they were happy like little children.

On my birthday's while my dad was in prison,
he sent me letters, printed letters.
When I was younger I didn't really get it
but when I think about it now, it makes me sad.
He sent me these letters for like every celebration, children's day, christmas and of course my birthday.
In these letters he always wrote that I'm his little princess.
Damn.

But prison wasn't forever.
My mom told him that she would wait for him.
Did she?
No.

When my dad came out of prison, finally.
She had another guy.
I didn't saw it but this is what they told me.
My grandma looked out of the window because my mom wanted to come over.
My grandma saw her getting out of a car.
And then, she kissed a man.
But it was not my dad.

I don't know if that was the reason but.
My parents broke up.

My mom and me we lived in another apartment where I also went to a real kindergarten when I was 3 years old.
I actually were a really stressful child,
I used to scream when I didn't like something.
My mom didn't knew how she could help me,
she was alone with me.

Not really.

She always had a new boyfriend, like every month.

This was absolutely annoying.

But I remember sometimes when I got out of kindergarten my dad came to get me.
And he had a car.
Don't know how he could afford this car,
because it was like just half a year since he was out of prison.

Whatever, in his car we listened to some nice music. I really miss it.

On weekends I always were at my grandpa's apartment, we went to the supermarket far away, we always selected a film to watch on that day and I always fell asleep on the couch. Sometimes
my dad picked me up at my grandpa's and we went swimming, he always asked me with wich car he should come next, he had two cars, one that was sporty and one that was big. Of course I mostly said he should come with the sporty one because it was just so fast, when we were on the highway he were driving so fast i were pushed into my seat and I saw everything vanishing around me I just saw us in this car on the highway.

For my 4 birthday he gifted me a computer.
Who would gift their 4 years old child a computer.
My dad did, I could barely carry the computer because it was so heavy.
I didn't even knew what to do with that computer but I played some fun games on it.

I really appreciated spending time with my dad.

He was like kind of my safeplace.

But there's one thing I haven't told you yet.