Watching her wife sleep with the little amount of light coming from the windows gave Carina a strange feeling of familiarity.
It reminds her of when Maya would fall asleep after coming home from a twenty four hour shift. When she would get ready for work while Maya got caught up on the sleep she missed because of her shift.
But watching her right now is for a different reason. It isn't because of work, but because the nightmares are so haunting that she just can't seem to fall asleep tonight.
Carina still hasn't put much thought on when she would return to work. While technically she has probably been discharged from the hospital as a patient, she hasn't worried about going home yet.
Maya has yet to start physical therapy so her getting discharged still isn't a possibility.
If Maya stays, she stays.
She can't imagine herself going back to work until Maya's given permission to go home. But she knows that she has to go back soon. Bailey gave her as much time as she needs, but it's been a month and a half since the accident and she's no longer on paid leave as of one week ago.
Still, Carina can't find herself working right now. While she's practically living in the hospital that she works at, working would be tiring and she's already trying to get through the days with little to no sleep.
She's glad that Maya appears to be sleeping better though. She doesn't have many nightmares, as far as Carina knows of. However, the mood swings are still apparent.
Carina's been going to therapy for almost two weeks and she would be lying if she said that she's not a little upset that Maya hasn't decided to go herself.
She thought that if maybe she did it, Maya would at least consider it, and all the consideration Maya's done is decide that she's against it.
It's hard for her to watch her wife struggling, knowing that there could be a solution. It wouldn't be easy, but Maya would be able to live knowing that it gets better and that she won't feel like this forever.
Instead, only Carina can be the one to remind her. However, she doesn't know for sure if it will get better for Maya without receiving any form of psychological help.
But Carina has to stay hopeful because hope is the only thing she has at the moment.
It's nearing one in the morning and even with the lights shut off, the small amount of brightness coming from the hospital parking lot shining through the window, Carina is able to see the small frown present on Maya's face as she sleeps.
Carina doesn't know the reason behind it, but she hopes that Maya is having good dreams.
Maya shuffles onto her side, eyes still closed as she subconsciously tucks herself into Carina's side, the brunette moving her arm to rest on Maya's back, pulling her impossibly closer.
Carina's happy that although sleep isn't the most comfortable for her wife, the two bulky cast on her legs still there, she's now able to sleep on her side instead of only being limited to her back.
With nothing else to think about, Carina's mind travels to what their plans are for when Maya wakes up, seeing as though she won't be getting much sleep tonight.
Maya's supposed to start physical therapy, something Carina isn't sure how she feels about. Her wife isn't in the best head space and she worries that Maya will underestimate how difficult it will be and only get frustrated with herself.
But at the same time, she's excited for Maya, knowing that this is the next step to her being completely healed.
Looking down and seeing Maya practically laying her head on her stomach, she wishes she could remember this sight forever.
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Storm
FanfictionAfter Carina suffers a miscarriage, Maya suggests that they should get out of town and go on a short vacation. Unfortunately, not everything goes according to plan. 9/04/22~