Hetty and Ryan: Overcome

Retreat

Pulling open the pristine glass door to the main office, Hetty realized her hands were trembling. She had arrived early in order to avoid having to interact with too many people first thing in the morning. Making a beeline through the halls, she ducked into her office and slammed the door shut.

Hetty busied herself catching up on emails for the first hour. Eventually, there was a light knock on her door. It was Mariana.

"Hey!" Mariana pulled her into a gentle hug. "You're back. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes," replied Hetty meekly. "I had a bad stomach bug. I'm better now." Hetty prayed with every fiber of her being that Mariana would drop the conversation. Despite having mentally prepared herself for this moment, she couldn't possibly bear another second.

"Did you hear about the retreat?" asked Mariana.

"What?"

"We're going on a retreat on Friday and Saturday - not this weekend but the next. The counseling teams from every school. We have all-day workshops and everything. It's the first year the district organized it!"

"Next Friday?" Hetty felt like a floating balloon animal, each body part barely attached. "Just counseling?"

"No, all the student support staff. You know - counseling, mental health, psych, etc."

Hetty's internal organs turned circles, sending shock waves through her body.

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah, check the email from Jodie Castillo at district. She sent all the details last Friday, when you were out sick."

"Okay, thanks." Mariana left, and Hetty stared blankly at her emails, her hands tingling.

At that moment, Ryan appeared at her doorway, his face and body radiating intensity.

"Hetty," he exhaled, with relief and many other indistinguishable emotions. Upon seeing him, her body stood up involuntarily at the same time that Ryan rushed to meet her. Without reserve, he wrapped his arms around her, and Hetty sank into his hug. They remained in a tight embrace for several seconds, Hetty unable to resist the urge to rest her head against his warm, rapidly beating chest.

As they separated, Ryan gently kissed her forehead.

"I was worried sick about you," he whispered, his face inches from hers.

"I'm so sorry I didn't respond. I was super sick with... the stomach flu. I'm all better now." She had mentally rehearsed this sentence so many times, yet the words still caught in her throat.

"Fuck, I thought... I don't know," he breathed out, running his hands erratically through his hair. "I had a horrible feeling that something was wrong. You're okay?" He looked down at her, his vulnerable expression violating her very thin layer of armor.

"I'm okay," Hetty assured him, her voice raspy. Still standing close enough to feel the heat of Ryan's aura emanating love and protection, she imagined herself crumbling back into his arms. She knew he would catch her. Instead, she dug her toes into the soles of her shoes in an attempt to stay standing upright.

"I l-..." Hetty distinctly caught Ryan clamping his mouth shut mid-sentence, and something inside her was certain he had been about to say "I love you."

Instead he said, inexplicably, "I'm going to find another job. I can't keep working with you."

Her eyes were immediately wet; she'd had no chance to even attempt to avert her body's reaction to his statement.

"No," she whispered, pleadingly. "You can't." She smeared the tears across her cheeks sloppily, childlike, with the palm of one hand, then the other.

"I have to," he whispered, his deep brown eyes glistening with grief.