Hetty and Ryan: Overcome

Lunch on the Patio

As he collapsed into his desk chair, the pressure of pounding blood to his head felt ready to explode. What in the actual hell? Ryan was in disbelief. He couldn't convince himself that he had actually seen Hetty two minutes ago. Been in her presence, almost touched her again. Smelled her familiar scent. The only evidence that this was real was his over-stimulated nervous system; here alone in his office, his pulse raced out of control until he felt ready to pass out.

His mind replayed every one of Hetty's facial expressions from their brief encounter in jarring and disjointed flashes. His brain was like a disco strobe light, and he felt nauseous. He had seen her almost smile. But she had also looked exasperated with him. He felt the chemical energy burning between them. Yet, her body language had been stiff, closed off to him. Something had stopped him from going in for a hug.

Ryan desperately needed to know what her feelings towards him were. His memory replayed the three moments of intense eye contact. Drowning in swirling, dizzying doubt, he knew one thing for certain--her feelings were not neutral.

* * *

"Okay, time for lunch!" Mariana called, her tone bright.

Hetty's pulse quickened as she felt the blood drain from parts of her body and pool in others. She walked on rubbery legs, trying to keep pace with Mariana as they made their way to the staff lounge. Hetty retrieved her lunch from the brand-new, silver refrigerator and stood awkwardly waiting while Mariana placed her tupper of food in the microwave.

Hetty felt his presence behind her before she saw or heard him. All her hairs stood on end, and she braced herself before turning around, summoning every ounce of poise within her.

"Hey," Ryan greeted, his voice friendly but--she knew him well--also nervous. She still knew him, eight years later.

"Hi, Ryan." Her tone, unlike earlier in the day, was plain. There was an odd familiarity in their greetings, despite their nerves.

"So, let's go the patio--it's such a nice day!" urged Mariana in her sing-song tone.

Ryan seemed to hesitate for a moment at the edge of the table, as if unsure whether to sit next to Hetty or not, and she felt her heart already pounding inside her chest. He opted instead to take the chair across from her; Hetty was relieved by the physical distance.

"Ryan, I didn't catch earlier what you do," Hetty said, her voice even.

"I'm the school psychologist." He caught her eye, hooking her into him with a tiny smile. "Counselor, yeah? That's such a perfect job for you."

Hetty's heart pumped overtime again. He had always had a way of exposing everything he was feeling towards her in what seemed like innocent small talk.

She laughed slightly. "Oh yeah? Um, why?"

Shit. She immediately regretted her question. Instead of letting the moment pass, she had called him out. Called him in.

Ryan cleared his throat. "Uh, you were always very perceptive of other people. You have that calm, genuine presence. You will be great with the students." He blushed slightly.

Just then, Mariana's phone began buzzing. She took the call, speaking briefly in Spanish. Ryan openly gazed at Hetty's face while Mariana spoke on the phone, a sly half-smile resting on his lips. Hetty held his gaze for a few moments, almost smiling, then averted her eyes.

Mariana held the phone away from her ear and addressed them, breaking their trance.

"I will go take this call in my office--it's my sister. Sorry about that." Ryan and Hetty nodded understandingly as Mariana quickly gathered up her lunch items and headed back inside.

Ryan turned his gaze back on Hetty, his eyes sparkling and a smile quivering across his lips. He chuckled softly. It was a sound Hetty knew so well, and it sent tingles through her entire body.

"I can't believe this," said Ryan, lowering his volume, finding her eyes again. "I'm in a pretty big shock right now."

"I know." Hetty shook her head slightly, a shy glance swiping across his face before dropping her eyes to the table. "Same."

"How have you been?" he asked, leaning in towards her, his body trying to lean through the table that separated them.

"I'm... doing really well," Hetty responded, smiling sweetly.

"You'll love working here. It's a really positive environment. Everyone is so nice, and Mariana is a great person to have as a mentor."

"How long have you been here?" She tapped her graceful fingers along her water bottle in a manner at once anxious and poised.

"Just a year. I started last summer." He leaned back in his chair in the boyish, carefree way he used to do in film class, where they had first met. Hetty felt her stomach fluttering. She looked down in an attempt to hide a smile. When she peered up again, she discovered that he was openly staring at her, his face soft and full of emotion. She wondered if his expression was born of nostalgia or present feelings. Their eyes hooked into each other's once again.

"Do you still play music... and sing?" Hetty asked softly, her voice scratchy and sparkly all at once, struggling more with each passing minute to deploy evenly.

"Yeah, I still do music."

She swallowed back a strange lump in her throat.

* * *

Ryan studied her reaction, his heart soaring as he caught her pinching a smile between her lips, eyes lighting up. He knew every one of her facial expressions.

Yet, he still couldn't read her overall demeanor towards him. Was he the only one who could feel the energy pulsing between them? She had blushed and smiled multiple times now, but there was something guarded about her interactions. Ryan tried to calm the mixture of dread and reckless hope stirring in his stomach.

"Actually, all of us from the office are going to happy hour Friday after work. They have karaoke. You have to come with us."

"Okay, sure--I'll go," Hetty smiled. "But I won't be pressured to sing, will I? Because I hate that."

A grin broke across Ryan's face. She was exactly the same.

"I will personally make sure no one pressures you to sing." Somehow his sweet words rang out seductively, hanging in the space between them. She chuckled lightly.

She was so damn adorable eating a ham and cheese sandwich that he could hardly stand it. As they talked, Hetty occasionally popped a purple grape into her mouth and chewed gently. Ryan had to take a breath to steady himself. Everything she did got to him. It had always been that way.

Fuck, I am right back in it, he thought, terrified and electrified all at once.

Their lunch break had expired, and Hetty began tidying up her area. Ryan vacillated, deciding whether to ask the next question or further postpone his misery. His body went paralyzed, every nerve numb yet ringing intensely.

He stood up as she came around the table and practically intercepted her body before she could make her way back inside. They stood close--too close--Hetty looking up at him expectantly, eyebrows raised.

"Hetty," he whispered, tilting towards her. Eight years' worth of suppressed feelings came tumbling out with the utterance of her name.

"Are you single?" he asked, his voice breathy and crackling like brittle sticks snapping.

Ryan tried to read Hetty's expression as she lowered her eyes and bowed her head slightly. After a deep breath, she lifted her head again and made eye contact.

"No, Ryan. I'm engaged."