The Hero And The Thief [[Bucky Barnes]]

Alone

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When Bucky and I finally left his room, I was feeling a lot better. Not because of the sex but because I had told him why I had gone missing for months. I wasn't sure if he felt any better because he couldn't look at me or sit next to me when we went back to where everyone else was.

"Maybe we should talk when you guys are sober,"

"It's fine," Tony waved his hand, "Steve thought Bucky was being killed and we sobered up,"

"You thought he was being killed and you didn't kick the door open to help?"

Steve chewed his lip, "Not exactly. I honestly thought he had brought a girl home to try and forget about you. Then he started yelling and then thought the girl wouldn't leave,"

"And has that happened?" I folded my arms.

"No," Bucky muttered, "Not once,"

"Why are you back?" Peter asked, "That sounded rude. Sorry. Why have you come back...forget it.  Nothing I'm going to say sounds polite,"

"I told Bucky so I'll tell you," I said, "I got into some trouble before I came to New York for a job. Before I met everyone. I thought they forgot about it but they didn't. Before you ask, I didn't kill anyone; it was the FBI, CIA and MI6. They used an informant to get in touch with me and paid me to steal something. I did and thought that was the end of it until they kept coming back to me, blackmailing me into doing their dirty work. I broke into their buildings and stole everything that was related to me. Hacked into their systems and deleted everything. Turns out, they weren't happy they weren't able to use me for their dirty work,"

"You got involved with them?" Steve asked.

"Not intentionally. Their informant was the one to pretend to hire me. Not that it mattered because he was killed after I came to New York. They thought he was the one to help me escape as such," I scoffed, "Anyway, they found me when I was at the funeral and tried to shoot me in the face. I had to go off-grid to survive and couldn't risk getting in contact with you,"

"How did you convince them to leave you alone?" Tony asked, "Don't send me that sweet smile. Tell us,"

I sighed, "I may or may not have found every dirty secret each organisation has tried to hide and told them that if they don't leave me alone and forget I ever existed, then I put their dirty laundry out to dry. Turns out they have a lot of dirty laundry. But, they agreed. Can't say for how long but as of now, I'm off their radar,"

"Were they really trying to assassinate you for not working for them?" Nat asked.

"Yeah and I witnessed them killing innocent people for the fun of it," I said, "Which is why I made damn sure that they are to leave me alone. The moment they attempt to kill me or succeed in killing me, everything is leaked,"

"Huh," Toby said folding his arms, "You're scarier than I thought,"

"Just don't get on my bad side and we won't have a problem," I winked at him.

"Is that why you dyed your hair blonde?"

"Mostly. I hadn't been blonde in a while and thought I needed a change" I shrugged and got to my feet, "Anyway, I'm off to bed. You all stink like strippers and I don't want glitter all over me. Thank you and good night,"

"Wait a fucking second," Bucky snapped as he got to his feet, "Where's your fucking apology?"

"Pretty sure I apologised to you,"

"Why are you acting like what you did was nothing? You disappeared for months and you come back acting like this,"

"To be fair, you did fuck me before we could talk,"

"That is beside the point!"

"Is it?"

"You are one of the most frustrating women I have ever met. You act like you don't fucking care! Stop being selfish,"

"Is that what you think? Right. Because I went off the grid to just protect myself and that the Avengers weren't used as bait and blackmail. Of course, why would the only people I love be used against me and their lives be threatened? How silly of me for being so selfish,"

"You could have-"

"I did what I could to protect you!" I yelled finally having enough, "I lived with nothing for months so they didn't come here and fucking kill you guys! I risked my life every time I had to take a shit or find scraps of food to eat. So fuck you Bucky. Sorry for putting your lives first,"

"I don't know why I fell in love with you,"

My heart dropped into my stomach and every ounce of frustration dropped from my body. I could feel everyone staring at me with wide eyes but not brave enough to say anything.

"Really?" I said, fighting back my tears, "Well...I can make it easier for you to fall out of love with me since I clearly disgust you. I'll be gone by tomorrow evening. You will never see or hear from me again. You can move on and get with a girl who doesn't challenge you and is sweet but boring as fuck. Thanks, Bucky. You sure do make me feel wanted,"

"Blue,"

"No. No. It's ok," I said, wiping my tears away, "At least you got one last fuck in,"

"Blue, wait," Bucky grabbed me but I punched him as hard as I could in the gut with my metal hand. He yelped in pain as he flew across the room and into the wall.

"Oh, maybe I should thank you for my metal arm. You know? Fuck you Bucky. I hope you're fucking miserable for the rest of your stupid life,"

Bucky groaned loudly as he got to his feet but I shook my head at him and left the room.

Selfish?

How was I selfish for wanting them to stay alive?

I swiped away the tears on my face and let out a shaky breath.

"Blue?"

"What?" I snapped, "Leave me alone,"

"I can't do that," Steve said, grabbing my hand, "Bucky is my best friend and-"

"If you are here to tell me that I overreacted or-"

"No. Nothing like that," He said, "Bucky had no right to say that to you. He is upset but I know he didn't mean what he said. He is angry. Everyone knows that he loves you,"

"Maybe so, but it's obvious he regrets it," I said, pulling my hand away from him, "Don't bother following me. You won't find me,"

"You can't run away. Blue, you've just got back,"

"And I've just had my heart ripped out," I said, "So yes, I can. I'm leaving,"

"Blue,"

"Fuck off," I said quietly, "Leave me alone. That's what I should have been. Alone. It's what I'm best at,"

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