The Unheard Stories.

The Pain...

If you have the opportunity to take all your pain away, would you do it?? Finally end all of it. It would just take a couple hours. But when they are done? How would you feel? Would you feel relief? Would you be finally be happy? That is the question. The pain is hurting me so much that I can't take it anymore. They say they can take all the pain away in a couple hours. I would be asleep the whole time, so when I wake up, all the pain I had would be gone. What will I feel when I wake up from those long hours I had to sleep? Would I be finally happy to get rid of all the pain I had? Would I even remember the times when the pain hurt me so much that I wanted it to end? Who will be there when I wake up with no pain anymore? Will there be anyone there waiting for me to wake up?? What if I don't wake up?? What if the pain is so much, they can't take the pain from me? Will have to deal with the pain with the rest of my life? Would I be myself or be a totally different person? Would people like me after the the hours spent after I have taken the pain away?? Will the people talk to me after I have no pains? Will my family treat me differently. All these questions rush through my mind. I feel so stupid for doing this to myself. I know the pain will never stop. Everyone deals with it differently. I need to learn a different way to take my pain away. Without hurting myself in anyway possible. But I can't think of anything. What is wrong with me?!?! People deal with this pains in different way. Why did I have to find this way?? I know I am not the only person who does it..... But sometimes I wonder they have bigger problems then I have. Why am I complaining about my problems, when people are having worse pain than I am. Makes me feel worse about myself. Sometimes makes the pain hurt more. I know I am stupid for making my pain worse but I can't help. I hate how people say that you need to stop. They think someone can stop all the pain when the thing is that once you start you can't stop. Once you start no one can stop you. The only thing person that can stop you is YOU.....

You are the only person that can stop all the pain. If you want to stop it you ask for help. But sometimes that help will not help you at all. YOU are the only person who can stop all this pain. If you put time and effort things will get better. If only that could happen to me. I do everything I can but I still can't. I don't think I will be able to stop. I don't even remember when I started. I just started to get these thoughts. These thoughts that haven't stopped. I don't think will stop. The pain won't stop until I do something about it. I try to do something but I don't know. I DON'T KNOW........ I don't even know...... I don't know when all the pain will stop. I just know it will. It may not be today or the next but I will. That is my only hope. I will end..... All the pain will end.....