Only when we're high (Ryeji)

Chapter 2

Shin Ryujin was getting on my goddamn nerves.

I know that there's a slight chance that we might have crossed the line that night on the plane. Maybe, a little bit...

Okay, we totally got things out of control.

Maybe this whole touring thing has driven us crazy - life on the road can really mess up with our heads. But the worst part is that Ryujin hadn't spoken more than a handful of words to me in the last few weeks. I didn't even hear from her during the break before our Tour dates in New Zealand – she basically didn't look at me since that plane landed – and I was hopeful that things would change with time but now we were back on the road and I still got nothing from her.

Nothing.

Sure, I should be already used to her behaving like that. We don't talk as much as we used to since our whole "Ryeji-freak-out" drifting apart thing, but it still got to my nerves. I mean, we did share a very intimate moment back on the plane, so I expected her to be at least a little friendlier with me.

But of course, she had to do the very opposite.

She'd only address me when it was absolutely necessary and never about anything that wasn't work-related – especially not the things we had done during that flight. The whole situation just gives me the urge to quit everything and move to a deserted island where I can just MELT in my own embarrassment.

It's not like we hadn't done anything before. Sure, we had kissed, but that was back when I was sixteen and naïve and shitfaced drunk. And it happened like once. Or twice, I wouldn't remember.

Anyways, this situation is completely different and the way she's dealing – or better not dealing – with it is annoying the hell out of me.

To be honest I don't even know what the hell I had in mind when I let that happen. God, how did it even happen?

Things had escalated so damn quickly... One minute we were barely talking which was nothing unusual, the next I was sleeping on her lap which, to be honest, was a little embarrassing, but survivable, then she was kissing my neck and out of nowhere I was orgasming around her fingers. Wait what the FUCK?

God, why did I let her do it? And most importantly, why did I enjoy it so much?

Ugh, Ryujin, why are you like this? She's so annoying she makes me want to give her a punch in the face and kick her on the knees ... and then perhaps pin her against a wall and fuck her senseless-

Oh my God, what are you thinking, Yeji? Ryujin gives me such mixed feelings, it's uncanny.

I wish I regretted what we did, I really do. I always thought she was hot – I mean I'm not blind, am I? - and I'd be lying if I said I never fantasized about anything happening between us. However, it was always platonic and I never thought anything would actually happen, especially since she practically throws a temper tantrum whenever someone mentions the word "Ryeji".

I honestly don't get what's bothering her so much about fans shipping Us. Pretty much every kpop group has dynamics like ours. I mean there's not only Ryeji, there's Jinlia, Yejisu, Chaerji, etc. I don't understand why she freaked out about it. It's not like our Korean fans think we're in real relationships with each other. But I guess our international fans can be a little delusional sometimes.

But now Ryujin had given me a taste of her and left me wanting more, so much more. The memory of our heated moment alone was enough to ignite something inside me and bring an unwanted fire down there, and shit it was driving me crazy.

So yes, I could say that I was pissed at her, very pissed. And turned on. But mainly pissed.

Ugh, I had to do something. I had to make her talk to me about it, or at least acknowledge it somehow. I just couldn't let things go on like this.