Only when we're high (Ryeji)

Chapter 11

[Yeji's POV]

It's the wild wild west
살짝 거칠은 type
Uh uh uh uh uh uh

I was currently squished between Lia and Yuna at the back of our van and had about 5 more seconds of tolerance. They have been singing- no, screaming alone to our songs for the whole 30-minute drive. And when I'm telling you I am tired of them, so much that I could kill them, I'm not lying.

Bang bang bang
It's the wild wild westMeeny meeny meeny
Eeny meeny miny moe
It's the wild wild west
You better be mine

But then I let them continue screaming and having fun. A better Leader would probably try to shut them up and tell them that we weren't the only ones there. Maybe Chaeryeong wanted to sleep. Or maybe our generous driver couldn't focus on the road. 

But I didn't and just let them be.

Let's be honest. My days in the group were counted. When JYP finds out about my hair situation and the fact that I actually proposed my idea to our choreographers and they agreed to work on it, he'll be really mad. I disrespected him. I broke one of the rules. 

At least then the girls would get a better leader. As everyone always said they thought Ryujin or Chaeryeong fit the leader position more. When I get kicked out, at least these people would get their wishes.

I was just tired. Tired of hearing people around me and reading comments online about how childish I was and that I didn't lead the team well. That our flop eras and especially Sneakers were flops because of me. Because I didn't know the direction the team had to go in. I'm constantly being reminded that I was irresponsible and disoriented when it came to making decisions about the group. That my solo song and my other solo projects best illustrate my lack of leadership. 

Truth was these past few months have been the best and the worst in recent years. Yes, I kept overthinking about everything and made spontaneous decisions. Because of a stupid mistake, I'd get kicked out of the group. I went through mental torment when thinking about my life choices. 

But these months were also the best. I got closer to Ryujin. Unpredictably close if I should say. She lit in me so many emotions I thought I never had. When I was with her I truly felt alive. She gave me the spark I had lost many years ago. 

Oh, God. How I wish we could be something more. 

But we couldn't. 

I'm sure that when I get kicked out of the group I won't ever see her again. I doubt JYP would keep me in the company. 

I don't know if I'd still want to be an Idol. Maybe I'd just rent a dance studio and become a dance teacher. 

There's still time to consider that. For now, the only thing that scared me was how my members would react when they saw my red hair.

I just couldn't wait to see their disappointed faces. 

----

[Ryujin's POV]

"Hello, Ladies. It's so nice to finally meet you in person." I looked up from my phone and saw Zach Sang walking into the dressing room."

"Hey, Zach. Nice to meet you. I'm Yuna from ITZY." Yuna stood up and smiled widely at him.

"Hi, Yuna. It's so nice to see you. Wow, you're so tall in real life. I feel like a meerkat next to you."

Yuna looked at me but I just shrugged.

"What is meerkat?" 

"Do you know Timon from the Lion King? Just this small little guy. I'm pretty much him but in human form"