Always

20.

I probably cried for the next hour. I miss home so much. Everything is to much for me here. There was a knock then my door opened. It was Conrad, but I didn't have the energy to move from bed.

"Babe, talk to me. Tell me what's going on, you always do."

I shook my head no. Conrad sighed with a frown.

"Okay. Mer told us your cousin from New York is coming here."

"Mhm...he said he'd be here as soon as he could be. So in the next day or so."

"Vincent is his name right?"

I nodded my head yes.

"He's the one you lived with, isn't he? And with Micah of course."

"Yeah...He's like an older brother to me..."

"Well you have quite a few of those don't you?"

"You could say...how come you and Kade are being civil?"

I asked him so he'd stop worrt about me and stop talking about my problems.

"Because we're worried about you Viki. I'm scared you're mad at me and you're going to leave me here."

I looked at Conrad as if he was insane. I shook my head no at him.

"No. No. I'd never leave you. Never, remember we're supposed to be an always. I'm not mad at you. I'm just upset about a few things."

"Then talk with me. We will always be an always. I'm not leaving you either."

Conrad pulled me onto his lap and kissed me. I kissed him back. I missed his kisses.

"Jesus Viki you are an angel. My angel. Only mine."

"Only yours."

I told him and put my head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around my waist.

"Connie...I'm scared of myself..."

I whispered.

"Why's that?"

He whispered back to me.

"Because I can feel myself starting to fall back into old habits that aren't healthy..."

"That's okay because I'm always going to be here to help you."

I shook my head no while tears started to form.

"I can't be helped Connie..."

"My love, I'll always try. No matter what. If you don't want to eat, I'll feed you. If you don't want to live, I'll help you live. If you don't want to take care of yourself, I'll take care of you. We can get you back on medication if you want. Talk to Zane maybe?"

I was crying again now.

"I just want to go home..."

Conrad sighed and rubbed my back.

"I know baby, I know. It's difficult being away from the ones we call family and home. But it'll be okay. You'll be able to go home soon."