"The brightest star on the darkest night." (Hiatus)

Eight.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Tw: themes of ptsd, hallucinations, mentions of injuries, survivors guilt, vomiting and being underwater

Italics other than diary entries represent past memories

September 17th, 1978

Dear Diary, it's been nearly two months since the camp Nightwing incident. Honestly, these scars are pretty bad ass, but I still see him in my sleep, when I close my eyes.

I can feel the cold metal against my skin every now and again. I'm scared of the dark, I'm scared to sleep, I'm scared to even breathe.

I feel like I'm going to explode, I'll loose control one of these days I just know it.

- Maxine.

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"I'm going to the store." Her mothers voice was soft as she poked her head through the door, the brunette nodded her head in response but that was about it. "I love you, Max."

The sound of her mothers steps getting quieter let her breathe for a moment. She barely left the house, she wasn't left alone a majority of the time, it was honestly draining at this point, they treated her like a child who was accident prone.

The creaking of her mattress made her skin crawl, her eyes had less of a light to them, like it was fading in and out. Staring at the mirror too long hurt, it felt wrong to be able to see herself, it didn't feel like her.

The thing that was looking back at her wasn't her, it was dull, pale even, it's eyes sunken in as it stared lazily back at her.

She slowly entered the bathroom, it was cold and unwelcoming to its visitors, or well her. The tiles were stained this ugly yellow color, the walls were peeling.

She stared at the tub in-front of her, her hand hovered over the handle, an internal debate filling her mind. She turned it as the water began to hit the tubs bottom.

The water was warm, it was comforting.

~

"Please you need to get out of bed, Max." Nick stared at her, she didn't mutter a word. "Say something! Please, you are practically rotting in this bed." Maxine's eyes drifted towards him, she blinked in response and then looked back towards the wall.

~

She sat there, knees pressed to her chest as the water around her sloshed and then settled. It was quiet, so quiet. She didn't pay attention to the buzzing of the old light, instead she focused on the water.

Untucking her knees from her chest she laid back in the water, her eyes closed as she let the warmth consume her. The pressure to her chest seemed to get heavier, the sounds of distant footsteps, she rose up blinking as the water slowly dripped down her face.

"Max! Baby where are you?" Her mothers voice could be heard.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it instead.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

"So how have you been since your last visit?" The therapist in-front of her asked.