Wings of Honor: Deciding Destiny

Chapter 4: Rallying Point

I paced in the hallway right outside the infirmary. One of the few places in Thorn's stronghold where I could stand freely and not bump my head.
McManis was still asleep, but Ankh wouldn't let him out of her sight. She checked his heartbeat, and temperature, monitoring him closely. Watching for any sign of recovery... or deterioration.
Travers was asleep, laying on cushions Ankh kept handy for patients. His hand over his rifle, safety off, clutching it close to him.
But that feeling of helplessness threatened to overtake me, so I did another lap down to the end of the hall. What little I could do.
Argh! Everyone is hurt or captured! I'm hundreds of miles away from the City Of Night, and Darkstalker and Goldman are building an army as we speak!
I let out a big sigh, powerful enough to make a couple of tapestries flap in the wind.
I don't really have a silver lining for this. I can't see anything positive.
Then the tears came. I couldn't get up to pace, the palace guards were already spooked as they are. There was really nothing I could do. Except... sit here... and cry.

So that's what I did.

Everything started flashing before my eyes.
Lightning, thunder. The report of guns.
Clashing of claws, blades, and teeth. Trading of fire and frost breath. Blood, both blue and red, exchanged on the battlefield.
But it would be a massacre. So many dead over a worthless position. And it wasn't even their fault. Helpless soldiers following orders, either through honor or brainwashing, it was just murder.
It was so much.
So much.
Too much.

I tried covering my head, trying to bleed off the heat of the migraine, providing pressure on my head about to explode.

An outgunned squad, trying to hold back a swarm.
Running low on ammo, supplies, pinned down.
A numerous, unrelenting enemy closing in around them.
Then they hold fire, gathering in a single house. A red and white striped flag on the wall. All of them holding hands.
A small pin falls to the floor with a small ping, followed by a deep thunk.
I wasn't there to hear the explosion.

I gasped for air, sobbing. I tried wiping away my tears, but they kept coming. All the fear for Marvin, his squad, McManis, Travers, Darkstalker, Goldman, Moon, Kinkajou, Winter, Icicle, Halestorm. It was all too much for one person to handle.
"It's too much," I mumbled. How could he have dealt with all of this for so long? It's too much. "It's too much."
I didn't notice the door creaking open. I didn't realize a warm and friendly mind enter my room. I didn't notice until I felt a warm wing rest on my side.
I gasped, looked over to meet Queen Thorn.
I choked up, trying to greet her.
"Shh." She held her talon up. "Don't say anything. Travers told me everything."
I closed my eyes, feeling tears form and roll down my snout. "I just-I just-I can't," I tried forming words.
"Hey-hey-hey." She said softly but strongly to me. "You've been through a lot."
I hung my head, listening to the thuds of tears striking the wooden floorboards. I tried to dab them away.
"No, stop." Thorn grabbed hold of my arm. "Don't worry about that right now. Worry about yourself."
It felt like I was struck on the nose, tears welling more in my eyes, my mouth morphing into a painful scowl to cry. I tried hushing my sobs, but it hurt my chest instead.
"Hey, stop it." I felt Thorn's warm presence. "Let it out. Don't bottle it up. You're safe here. Let it out."
So I did. Anguished sobbing.
"T-thorn. I... I tried to... I tried to." I tried telling her. "Mar-ven, he... he-"
"Shhh." Thorn hushed me. "I can't understand you. Cry now, you can tell me after."
"N-no." I got up, struggling to my feet and surprising Thorn. "It's... too... im-portant." I wiped away my tears, trying to swallow my sobs. "Gold-Goldman... found... us." But then the tears started flowing more. "Marvin... Marvin."
Thorn looked up at me, her eyes wide. She had no idea.
She had no idea.
I knew.
I knew.
I broke down. Collapsing to the floor. All my strength gone. The tears came quickly now, flooding my eyes so I could barely see. My sobs sucked air painfully, exasperating my tears. My head was pounding with a massive migraine, the pressure felt like I was going to explode. And Thorn, one of my only friends here left, was watching me at my worst. Someone who she respected, maybe even reveered, sobbing on the floor.
It was too much.
"Grace." Thorn came up next to me, climbing up from underneath my wing. "You're okay."
"NO!" I wailed out. "NOTHING IS OKAY! M-M-M-MCMANUS IS H-H-HURT! G-GOLDMAN IS-S-S W-WORKING WITH DARKSTALKER! I CAN'T STOP HIM!" I covered my head with my wings. "It's hopeless."
I felt Thorn shake her head in disbelief. "I, I don't quite follow. But I'm here. I'll be here with you until you can talk."
She snuggled a little closer to me, warming up my side with her pleasant heat.
But through my beleaguered mind, I struggled to find a way to tell Thorn.
I can't talk, I'm crying too much. I can't use telepathy, my head hurts too much. If I use my mind projection; if I couldn't handle it, I doubt Thorn would be able to either. None of us are any help if we are on the ground sobbing.
But still, the fact that she was beside me. I could feel her warmth, her true intentions to see that I was alright. McManis was still in bad shape, but at least he wasn't getting worse.
All of us were in bad shape, but at least we weren't getting any worse.
The world could go a couple moments more without me. So I drew my attention to my breathing.
Shaky, deep breaths in, shaky, but slow breaths out.
Shaky breath in, slow breath out.
Deep breath in, shaky, slow breath out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe in... breathe out.
Breathe in... breathe out.
I took a deep breath, holding it for a moment, before slowly exhaling it out.
I opened my eyes, seeing my room clearly for the first time. A stone-floored hall, almost like a ballroom. On either side, lines of torches ran along the walls. Paintings of dragons and other objects I didn't recognize. We were mostly alone, in this slightly chilly room.
I wiped my tears away, clearing my mocos. I looked down at Thorn, still sitting snugly under my wing, in Marvin's crevice. I heard her soft breaths, her chest gently rising against me, and falling away. She had fallen asleep, probably from the warmth.
I could imagine being the Queen of the SandWings was a taxing job. But the fact, even at my worst, I gave her enough security for her to rest...
Tears of happiness welled in my eyes, which I quickly rubbed away.
At least... at least I can still help people.
I curled my tail around, laying my head down on my talons. Resigning myself to rest alongside her. The both of us endured so much, we needed rest.
I needed rest.
However, as much as I needed it, I was awoken not too long after by a SandWing slamming open the door.
"Queen Thorn! I-Grace?" A familiar mind slid to a stop nearly in front of us.
My vision was blurry, but I recognized the mind.
"Vaquero!"
He shook his head, running up to me. "What are you doing here? I thought you left Possibility!" And then he noticed my wings. "Three Moons, what in Pyrrhia happened to you?"
I looked over where he pointed. "I... was attacked."
"Attacked!" He shouted. "Where are those camel fart-eating snakes that did that to you-"
"Easy Vaquero." I put my hands up. "That's a battle even we lost." I motioned with my head towards the infirmary.
Vaquero took the hint, nodding solemnly. "I saw you fly over. I heard one of your scavengers was banged up. I didn't know it was this bad." He gulped. And where's Queen Thorn?" I have an urgent message for her, and it cannot wait.
"Oh! Uh, she's here."
I lifted up my wing, exposing a groggy Thorn to the sobering, chilly air.
"Mmph." She mumbled. "What is it, Vaquero?"
"My Queen." He bowed to her. "A new scavenger den has been discovered between here and The Scorpion Den. And the Talons of Peace seem to be increasing their activity."
Thorn shook the sleepiness off her. "Tell Six-Claws to set extra guards. If Vulture is stupid enough to go after me directly, I want a trap waiting for him."
Vaquero nodded. "I will tell him." He started back from the door, but stopped. Looking over his shoulder. "And Grace."
I looked towards him.
Vaquero smiled. "It's good to see you."
What else could I do but smile back?
He nodded, quickly disappearing around the corner. Not long after, I heard wingbeats, listening as his mind quickly faded away.
Then Thorn got up, stretching. She walked around to face me head-on.
"So. What in Pyrrhia caused all this mess?" She motioned to me and the infirmary.
I took a deep sigh. "Nothing good. And you're not gonna like any of it.