It's like walking through the fog searching for a clear path. Not seeing what's ahead of me yet still searching keeping my guard up cause I don't know who to trust finding myself falling but no one's there to catch me. Everyone asks me why are you so guarded I respond to keep my heart from shattering again. It's been broken and glued back together and each time it breaks I lose a piece of myself. I still smile through the pain and try to hold on to just a little bit of happiness a speckle of hope that I will be okay that somehow some way I can be set free from the heartache that suffocates me. I hold on to it like a child holds on to a broken toy. Like a tattered blanket it protects my broken fortress surrounding my battered heart. To be closed off is the only thing I know. My fears, they digest me leaving nothing more than a broken shell scratching to survive, just trying to exist in a place where nobody see's me yet demands so much from me. In a place where broken dreams are the norm and this tormented soul has no place to call home. So before you judge me see me really open your eyes and see me I'm not what appears in front of your eyes beautiful girl with the pretty smile. Look into the windows of my soul do you see the broken girl sitting there slowly giving up cause she had enough begging for mercy because she's paying for sins she didn't commit asking for a peace she can't seem to obtain asking for someone to love her without trying to change her. This is all that hides behind my smile
