The Not so Dark Hours (Tomarry)

CHAPTER 1

Eyes the colour of a Sangue di Giuda, also known as Judas' Blood (A/N type of wine), stare at me with unrestrained greed and I shudder. Hands travel from my face down to my shoulder, continuing down to my hips and resting there. The touches are soft as flower petals yet have such an incredible effect on me. I look at the young man, his mesmerizing eyes, soft brown hair, and sharp features. I lower my gaze to the sight of pale skin, blemish less and muscled. His chest. I look back up when he lifts my chin to meet his gaze. "You belong to me Harry Potter. Only me." He says and I nod slowly as if stuck in a trance. He starts leaning down to me, lips about to meet mine when-

"Harry! Mate, we're going to be late for breakfast and all the good stuff is gonna be gone! Will you wake up!" Ron hits me in the face with a pillow and I groan.

Suddenly I remember my dream and all retorts about to cross my lips died. I dreamt of my greatest nemesis, or rather his past self. Yet again. These dreams have got to stop. The guilt is eating me up from the inside and I dare not look into Ron's eyes as I start dressing. I should probably see a mind healer; I've most likely gone crazy after last year. Sirius died; another load added onto the extra special Harry Potter guilt truck. It was my fault, no matter how much 'Mione insists on it being survivors' guilt or whatever. I ought to ask Slughorn for a dreamless sleep potion, otherwise I'll go nuts. I have double potions this morning either way, might as well ask him after class.

"You alright mate? Did you have another nightmare? About You-Know-Who?" Ron asks looking concerned, but then his stomach growls and he barely waits for me to answer with a curt 'no' before racing down the stairs to the common room, and then further to the great hall, where Hermione is already waiting for us, book in hand.

I've got my worn copy of my potions book with me, which 'Mione eyes with slight. Everybody says I'm addicted or some such, but they're not right. Addicted to learning? Yes, but the book itself? No. Since having gotten the book and the change of teachers I've come to realize what a fascinating subject potions really is. The same goes for all the other subjects. Somehow after last year I've realized that I've only got so much time to be a student and to learn new things, so I have begun studying in my free time. Although such a big change in such a short time would seem suspicious, so I only admit to going to the library on rare occasions. All other times I just tell my friends that I need a bit of distance which the grant me with no complain. They think it's because of Sirius and I've never bothered correcting them, although he is part of the big and complicated equation.

I grab myself a piece of bread with a bit of cheese, before taking a sip of water. I'm not that hungry, which can be said about most of my Hogwarts years. I guess I just don't have a huge appetite: Something that probably also stems from living with the Dursley's, but it's not like I don't deserve it. It's getting late, so Ron, 'Mione and I head off to the Dungeons for double potions.

--

"Ah, Harry my dear boy, do you wish to discuss something with me or why did you stay until after class?" Slughorn questions and I lower my head.

"Well, you see professor... I haven't been sleeping all that well, you know, nightmares and such. I was wondering if perhaps..." I begin, letting my sentence drift away into the near empty classroom.

"If I could give you some dreamless sleep potion?" He probes further and I nod, slightly embarrassed. "Well of course my boy, no need to be shy, here you go. Well, you better get going, don't want points taken now, do we?" He gives me a bottle on which the recommended amounts are documented neatly on a tag, and I thank him, rushing to DADA. Snape is so going to kill me, but this is a matter of life and death.

--

"Late again mister Potter? It seems that our golden boy has no need for my lessons, already being exceptional in defense naturally. Well, let me tell you something Potter you-" Snape starts ranting as soon as I step into class, but I hold up my hand to interrupt him.

"I'm sorry professor, but professor Slughorn wanted to speak to me after potions. He wrote a note to you in case you want to see it..." I trail off, looking at him with challenging eyes. Take that you dimwitted dungeon bat! His eye twitches ever so slightly, but then he turns back around to the board ordering me to sit.

I finally dropped divination, if only for my N.E.W.T level courses. Instead, I've picked up many other subjects such as ancient runes, alchemy, ancient studies, arithmancy and apparition. Many courses and too little time, therefore McGonagall, who seemed to think that all these new subjects are to distract me from Sirius' death, suggested to Dumbledore that I use a time turner. I gratefully accepted when Dumbledore gave it to me.

"Mister Potter!" Getting ripped out of my thoughts I look at an angry Snape. "Since you are so bored out of your mind in my lesson, why don't you show a practical example of how to non-verbally use defensive spells?" I nod and confidently stride to the front.

Snape suddenly attacks me with non-verbal spells such as petrificus totalus, locomotor mortis, but then he goes on to a not as safe mix of expulso, diffindo and other more offensive spells, I block each one with swift movements, having learnt by myself to summon wordless shields even in my sleep. It's muscle memory by now, which Snape seems to notice, so he goes on to attacking faster, moves flowing into each other and leaving no room to breathe. Yet I defend myself against everything he fires my way, albeit with a bit of a struggle, sometimes having to jump aside as to not be hit. What he is doing right now is not really all too legal, but I don't want to get even further onto his bad side by pointing that out. He suddenly stops his attack, although I remain aware of his movements.

"Acceptable, five points to Gryffindor. Don't let me catch you dosing off again Potter." Snape almost hisses and grits his teeth, before finishing up his lesson. At least he's fairer as DADA teacher than as potions teacher. Also, I am probably the only one who noticed, but he didn't tell me not to dose off, but rather not to let him catch me dosing off. A hint that maybe, just maybe, he doesn't hate me as much as he is letting on.

--

"Hey Harry, how was ancient runes?" Ginny asks curiously and I smile at her. We've been getting closer since the founding of the DA and she has already officially accepted me as one of her brothers, which touched me deeply. Originally Ginny and I tried the whole dating business, but we realized that we really weren't meant for each other and were better off as siblings so to speak. She sure acts like an annoying little sister; always scaring me by jumping around corners and rough housing with me. She always messes up my hair even more than its usual state, which gets really frustrating and is a thing I didn't think was possible. But I appreciate her, I really do.

I really don't deserve the Weasley's love. I'm not worth anyone's attention, how I became the supposed saviour is still a mystery to me. Yet I cannot disappoint the wizarding world, I owe them at least the defeat of Voldemort, even if that means losing my own life in the battle.

"Runes was great, always learning something new!" I answer cheerfully, although I'm sure I'm sure Ginny can see through my act.

I excuse myself from the lunch table and go to the library. This year I've got basically unlimited access to the forbidden section thanks to McGonagall's unnecessary yet welcomed favouritism.

Recently I've been researching the dark arts more and I've really been getting into it, although I'm too ashamed to tell Ron or 'Mione. Since my research I've been questioning more and more whether dark really equates to bad, because many dark spells and curses can also be used for good causes. It just depends on the intent, but when I asked Dumbledore what he thought of the this, leaving out the research part, he said that all dark magic is dangerous and must be banned. Why put a ban on any type of magic? Magic is such a wonderful thing!

--

The rest of the day goes by normally and soon I find myself lying in bed, just having taken the dreamless sleep potion and slipping into nothingness.