I thought you hate me

Chapter 4

It was strange. No, almost awkward.

She heard his flat breaths next to her, while her gaze flew from the grave stone to her hands in her lap. The flowers he had given her before lay in front of her on the ground. And next to her sat the psychopath who wouldn't want to leave her life.

»Did you plan to stay here forever? «, she asked and heard the quiet rustle of clothes as he shrugged.

»Guess that depends on something«

»On what? «, she asked and looked at him. Kai grinned and shook his head.

»Depends on whether you're going to burst some veins in my head if I start to annoy you. «, he gave back calmly and started to pull blades of grass out of the earth, just to strew them slowly over the ground again, as if it was the most important thing he had ever to do in his whole life.

Bonnie twisted her eyes. »I'm still thinking about it«, she gave back and heard his laugh. She didn't like his reaction. As if he didn't thought she would try to curse him if she had to. It seemed like he didn't take her seriously and that was something that really pissed her off.

»Why are you doing that?«, she asked out of nowhere and Kai looked at her, questioned.

»What?«

»All of this. Acting as if you had feelings and sitting here with me as if we were friends. Why? « Kai lowered his gaze and looked as his hands while he continued picking the blades of grass. Bonnie didn't know whether he was thinking about an answer or just ignoring, for which reason she added: »Are you trying to do the same as you did in the prison world? Make me trust you and then - «

»No«, Kai said resolved and shook his head. He stared at her with his alarmingly hypnotic blue-grey eyes and shook his head again as she said nothing. »I don't want to hurt you, Bonnie«, he said. »And even if you don't believe me ... I have no reason to hurt you. We're even. «

Bonnie looked at him, surprised. »Even? When was all of this ever about being even? «

»Maybe not for you. «, he gave back. »But I never wanted to hurt you. «

»You didn't want to hurt me?«, she burst out and jumped to her feet. Kai did the same while her almost furious gaze lay on him. »You shot an arrow through my stomach! You choked me, you - «

»I know what I did, okay?«, he gave back and frowned. »But did you forget that you're not as innocent as you think you are? You stabbed me with an ax without knowing that I couldn't die. And damn, you took the only chance to escape that hell away from me after I've spend almost twenty years there. Alone. « Kai's voice became louder as he spoke just to whisper the last few words. »And just you from all people of this damn world should know how it felt like to spend a long time completely alone. So, please don't tell me that this is all just my fault. «

Bonnie could see that something inside him had broken. She didn't know what, but she could she how the old Kai burst out through his words. The expression in his eyes – which wavered between anger and frustration – made her suspicious and let her ask herself for the very first time whether all the things she'd done didn't only hurt the part of him which was controlled by Luke's emotion, or if she'd even hurt him when he didn't even know how to spell 'feelings'.

»I - « Her voice was rough and she couldn't continue talking, but Kai interrupted her anyway.

»No, just leave it, Bonnie«, he gave back and took a deep breath. »I've said everything that had to be said. And I'm still standing here, begging almost on my knees for your forgiveness while I didn't even thought about being mad at you for what you did for a second. «

And with this, he turned around and left without looking back.

Bonnie Bennett had never thought about feeling guilty for something she did to Kai Parker. She didn't even thought for a second about how he felt when Damon and she wanted to leave him in the prison world where he spent his last twenty years.

And now, there she was: Sitting in her room and staring at the number on her phone which was meanwhile saved as 'Kai Parker'. If she would be still the Bonnie she had been before their stay in 1994, she would have already called him and apologized for everything. But the Bonnie she was now wanted to be unforgiving as long as she could. That's why she felt somehow relieved when she heard the familiar tone of her phone and opened the message which just arrived.

I'm sorry for what I said to you.

Bonnie frowned as the next message arrived.

I mean it's all true, but I didn't want to blame you.

It's okay, she wrote back.

 

Are we even? Thereupon, Bonnie sent one of those smileys back who held a thumb up. To send something else back could mean something to him, like that she'd forgiven him, but she thought anyway that he already guessed that.

Her phone made the quiet noise again, and as Bonnie read the message, her lips formed a smile.

 

Good Night, Bonnie.

Night, Kai.