These Are Not The Droids You're Looking For

Chapter 5 - The Great Escape

Bob and Doug walk toward the local pub to get some needed downtime. Bob is still jittery from meeting Darth Vader. "Man that was fun! I can't believe Lord Vader didn't join in. He just sat there and let us handle it. It's too bad he was frozen in carbonite. I would have loved to have another go at him. I'm sure I could have gotten whatever information we needed from him!"

Doug responds, "But sir, we never asked him any questions. Lord Vader didn't either."

"I knew we were forgetting something! Dammit Doug, you're supposed to remind me of these things."

"I didn't know we were supposed to question him sir."

"I don't want to hear excuses for your failings! Wait.. hold on."

Bob stops by a door. It's just like any other door in the city, but Bob is in awe of it for some reason. He reaches out as if the slightest touch may cause the door to shatter if he is not careful. Doug asks, "What is it sir?"

"The Farce is calling to me. It is giving me a vision of the future. We need to lock this door."

"Sir? This door leads to a landing pad outside. I don't think they ever lock these doors."

"We're going to lock this one. It's important. I can feel it through The Farce."

Doug closes the door and begins to lock it down. Bob interrupts him before the locking sequence is complete, "Make the password 'R2D2 has herpes'" Doug finishes the sequence with the password given.

They continue their journey to the pub. Bob asks, "So what were we talking about before?"

"Your admiration for Lord Vader sir."

"Ah yes. So mysterious. You know he told me a bit about The Farce while we were there."

"I was there sir. I don't remember him saying anything specifically to you."

"He said it in my mind. I think I now know how to get the force wedgie to work. My training is almost complete."

The music from the pub lingers in the air like fart. Bob hesitates at the door before the motion sensors can trigger it. Doug asks, "What's wrong sir?"

"I'm waiting for it."

"Waiting for what?"

A bit of static comes over the radio then a voice, "All units, the rebels are trying to escape. Cover all exits."

Bob says, "See? I'm getting better at this. Let's go back the way we came."

"Sir, if you knew where the rebels were going then why did we walk all the way over here?"

"Are you questioning my authority?"

"Of course not sir. I am only curious."

"Chicken pot pie. The Farce told me that I am destined to have chicken pot pie."

The sound of blasters going off ends the conversation. The two storm troopers rush to join the fray. They arrive in time to see R2D2 decipher the password to open the door they had locked minutes ago. The little white and blue robot bleats in it's electronic speak. Bob smiles to himself knowing what the series of beeps meant without needing to know how to speak the language.

They give chase, but the rebels escape. Bob comments, "You can't deny The Farce any more than you can get Storm Troopers to shoot straight."