if i were honest, would you believe me? // roblox flicker

6 | introduction

TWs

Mention of bullying

———

REZA

       I walk with Miguel down the stairs and follow him into the kitchen. "Good morning dad," Miguel says. I see a middle-aged man with slick black hair with a white T-shirt sitting on a chair, sipping on a mug of hot espresso. "Good morning son-" His dad pauses, looking at me. I look down. "Who's that? You finally got a boyfriend?" 

HUH?

     "DAD! WHAT?" Miguel yells in embarrassment, his face turns to a light shade of pink. "He's just a friend from school who needs somewhere to stay! He got kicked out." His dad laughs. "I'm just joking calm down, but if he's not your boyfriend, then why did he walk out of the same bedr-"

"DAD, STOP."

"Okay! Okay!"

       His dad looks at me now. "Hey, you. What's your name?" I don't speak, I just continue to look down. "Shy huh? I understand meeting new people is-" I cut him off. "Reza. Reza Avadi-Shekari." He nods. "Who's that cat with you?" "His name is Maple, he's pretty chill." He nods.

"Does your parents know you're here?"

"No, but I doubt they'll care or come looking for me."

       "Alright, you stay in the guest bedroom with that cat." I nod. I put Maple down, letting him go and explore the house. "You look hungry, when was the last time you ate a proper meal?" I shrugged, knowing it was last week. "Alright then, breakfast in on the table over there, help yourself. After that Miguel, show him around the house." Miguel nods. "I'm gonna play with this cat." He picks up Maple from the floor and stares at him.

       "Thank you." I walk over to the table, Miguel following behind me. I sat down, he sat down on the other side of the table. Chicken alfredo pasta. Haven't had that in a while, mother used to make this for me. 

         I slowly moved, still trying to get used to being in another person's house. I haven't been to another person's house in so long and I had been mistreated my whole life and raised on strict rules, so doing basically anything in someone else's house was a challenge for me. I'd fear if it was okay to do normal things in a house, because if I do something 'wrong' that I'm not aware of, my father would severely punish me.

         I grew up around a strict and abusive father with no one there to help me after my mother's death, I grew up around people who lie, abuse, hurt others, control others, manipulate them, use them. I feared going to school because every time I enter the school gates I get greeted by a group of jerks laughing at me, punching me, or spitting in my face. They'd use me for their homework and test answers, they'd blackmail and use personal things against me. They'd grab me by the hair, slam me into a wall, pour ice-cold water on me when I'm trying to enjoy my life for once. 

        Their laughs, their wicked smiles, the coldness hiding behind their eyes, the way they always got away with the trouble and conflict they cause and get to come back and do it over and over again. I remember it all, thinking of the memories, flashbacks, the bullies in general just made me want to scream until my lungs felt strained, like they were clogging, like if there was water in my lungs that couldn't get out, I want to scream until I lose my voice, until I can't inhale another breath.

        They took away my childhood, my faith, my hope, my health, my life. Because of people like them, I have trust issues. They made me like this. I fear that every time a person approaches me with a sweet and generous smile and lends out a hand to me, the second I take their hand they'll push me into a river and watch me drown, cough, and struggle to breathe. People liked watching me to get me to trust them, get to know them, get to become friends and find out my secrets and use them against me, knowing there won't be any consequences to their actions. Although the consequences to my actions is taking their hand and trusting their fake ass smile. A soft, sweet smile. So delicate and delightful, enough to bring comfort to a person, yet hiding back a monster with devil horns desperate to humiliate its victim. A fake smile, so fake, yet so comforting. It's the truth, and it hurts. My actions led me into getting hurt again, backstabbbed, blackmailed, manipulated, and controlled like a puppet tied to strings in a freak show. 

Flashback

"Hold him by the arm!" Dan yells, with an excited tone of voice. Joshua grabbed me by the arms and tightly held me back. I see his devious devil smile in the mirror. I stare at the school bathroom's floor, my eyes laying on my backpack that is on the floor, Vinny starts rummaging through my backpack in search of something interesting. Dan and Joshua watch him. Elizabeth and Veronica watch by the door, they can't enter the boy's bathroom, so Elizabeth just records. They're all smiling. They're judging me. "Oh? What's this?" Vinny asks, taking out a white book with a lock on it. "A diary? Ew, you keep diaries?" Veronica laughs. "..W-what are you doing with that..? Please put it ba-" Joshua punches me in the gut, still holding me by the arm. I grunted. "Who said you could talk?" He laughs. I watch Vinny unlock it and read through the first page, everyone there humiliating me, not to mention Elizabeth posting the video afterward to her Instagram page, completely humiliating me to the public and online.

They aren't like dad and the bullies. What is there to fear? 

Reza, you know, the last time you trusted someone, they took away your trust and stabbed you in the back.

Well.. but these people seem really nice..

See, now that's the thing with you, you are too naive. You trust people too easily. That is what got you killed the last time.

I..

         "Well, you look nervous, something on your mind?" Miguel says, digging into his pasta. I snapped back from my thoughts. "..Sorry. Just trying to get used to being in a different house." He takes a bite. "Ever been to another person's house before?" He asks, chewing with food in his mouth. "Yeah.. just, I haven't in a while." I slowly grabbed the fork beside my bowl, a bit hesitant but I took a bite. Eating that brought memories of my mother again, I'm not sure why, I probably just miss her too much. 

———

            After Miguel showed me around the house, I went up to the guest's bedroom with my things. Maple followed me inside. The walls were white, the bedsheet is a nice sage green color, it's neat and clean. Looks plainer compared to Miguel's room but obviously, it will be plain since it's a GUEST'S bedroom. I put my backpack on a small couch in the corner and the snack box on the floor right next to the couch. Maple jumps and climbs onto the bed. I close the window curtains to block out light from coming in, I like dark atmospheres. I took my charger out and plugged it into the outlet near the bed.

          I climb onto bed, Maple moves over a bit to let me on and lays on my stomach. I cover my head with the pillow and stay right there in that position. I'm tired. I'm quite exhausted. I take the pillow off of my face to check the time. 8:54 AM, cool. 

         I slowly get up on the bed, stretching out my arms. I stare at my sleeves, pulling them down to reveal clean white and smooth bandages tightly wrapped all around my wrists and arms. I clawed at the bandages, tearing through one layer. I stopped, I saw a bit of my skin. It was bruised up and purple. I pulled up my pant leg, I glance at my leg, also wrapped in bandages. The infection on my knee was also taken care of. I lifted up my hoodie just a little, newly replaced bandages on my waist and stomach. The bandages on my head were also gone, the side of my head that I accidentally hit now had a patch instead. There were bandaids on smaller cuts on my neck. How many bandages did he use?  I thought. I pulled my sleeves down and brought my pant leg down. I turned to look at Maple, he was laying down, struggling to keep his eyes open. Must be tired or something. I smiled and stroked his back.

         I'm bored, wondering what I should do. Oh! I know, I'll watch a movie or something. I get up from the bed and scramble over to my backpack. I unzipped it and pull out my laptop and airpods, I open the laptop and connect my airpods to it. I climb back into bed but I forgot to watch my step again, almost tripping over my charger cable. Luckily I didn't, like the last time I fell down a flight of stairs. I put my laptop on the mattress and hide in the soft blanket. I go to Netflix and search for "A silent voice."

———

1569 words.

I love A Silent Voice even though I dont watch anime