The Blondes of Bel-Air

LILY

I was going insane.

At first I let Penny's weird behavior roll off my back, but the more I thought about it, the more nervous I grew. I was skilled at keeping everything together, even at the worst possible moment. Crisis situations were my specialty. I effortlessly maintained a stoic face, a calm demeanor, and a steady heart rate with barely an intake of breath.

But now, with the whole Taylor thing and Penny sticking her nose into it all, it was too much. Even Edwin was asking too many questions, especially after Penny's bizarre behavior on Freddy's show.

It had been several nights of no sleep or drifting off only to wake up in the middle of the night drenched in a chilled sweat. The night after Penny's appearance on What's Going On Now? I woke up at three a.m. to see Taylor sitting on the edge of my bed wearing the same ugly top and ratty jeans as the night she died.

I was dreaming or having a nightmare. Was this a sleep paralysis demon?

Shivering even though it was not cold in my room, I tried blinking, then rubbing my eyes, but she was still there, smirking at me from where she sat on my bed.

"Taylor? What do you want?" I asked in a whisper thin, shaky voice.

Taylor opened her mouth, only no words came out. She opened her hands to me like she was giving me a gift and then she faded away.

This dream or hallucination or whatever it was had happened twice this week already and I was feeling unsettled and off my game, a feeling foreign to me. I woke up sensing she was still in my room, watching me.

"I'm going insane," I whispered to Gemma. 

We were in Gemma's car, driving to grab lunch in Beverly Hills. It was a beautiful day as always and the sky did not have a single cloud in it. Even the air smelled luxurious. It was the scent of expensive perfume and money wafting from Rodeo Drive.

"What do you mean?" Gemma's eyes swept over me. I knew she was going to say something about my appearance.

I was usually so put together and perfect in the latest trends, but today I wore a wrinkled shirt and pants that didn't match. I was so drained. I was afraid to close my eyes at this point. Gemma gasped when she looked down.

"You're wearing slippers!" She shrieked, hand to her mouth in horror.

To be honest, I thought I had changed into flats. Lack of sleep and obsessing over Taylor's mysterious appearance in my room, I mean, in my dream, caused me to stumble through my days and the worst part was that I almost didn't care. Almost.

"I don't know what's happening to me!" I whined. "I've lost my taste for lattes, I can't sleep, and when I try to close my eyes, all I see is Taylor." I rubbed my temples, hoping to erase the past few weeks.

"I know. I've been thinking of her too," Gemma said, her voice wistful.

We were stuck behind a slow moving Masserati. Now at a red light, she turned to look at me as I took off my sunglasses. "God! Those bags under your eyes, Lil. Wow."

"Okay, Miss Dark Circles! I see you found the concealer finally!" I paused as she pulled down the visor and checked her eyes in the mirror. She shrugged and flicked it back up.

"Will you please listen to what I'm telling you," I said, blowing my nose into a rough Starbucks napkin. "I see her. Like, she's in my room. Once she was on my bed and another time she was standing over me. It freaked me out. And when I woke up there was a tissue balled up on my desk."

"That was probably from you." She glanced pointedly at the crumpled napkin in my hand. The light turned green and Gemma sped up to pass the Masserati.