My Greatest Regret (Harry Styles)

Chapter 11

This chapter is dedicated to @elena112439 for being such an amazing friend.
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Harry's Point of View -->> Flashback-->>

I remember the days after it all. The dark lightless days where my heart was so cold. One day stands out amongst the rest; the one where I had to tell everyone what happened.

"Harry baby dinner's ready" Mum says softly from the other side of my door. I look at the door debating whether or not to eat because honestly my stomach feels like a bundle of Christmas lights hastily stuffed into a box, so a tangled disjointed mess. Wonderful. "Harry" she whispers knocking gently on the door. I roll over so that I'm facing the wall and throw my duvet across my lower half pretending to be asleep.

"Come on love give him some time" Robin says lightly. "I know it's just..." "I know we're all concerned but it'll be alright" he says gently and I hear them kiss for a short moment. "Okay" Mum says before the familiar creek of the stairs fills my ears. A deep sigh leaves my lips and I decide to try to eat in hopes of cheering Mum up, I could give two shits less about myself. Slowly I shuffle over to my door, open it, and peer down the steps. Silently I make my way down dreading every step along the way.

Once I'm at the kitchen doorway I peer inside and see my family silently eating dinner minus the occasional clanking of the silverware. And I feel terrible all over again knowing that I'm the reason why no jokes are being told, laughs exchanged, and happiness shared. Great. If there was a Nobel Prize for Jackass of the year I bet I'd win with flying colours. I look down at my feet and walk over to where Mum has left my plate on the counter.

The clanking stops and all becomes truly silent. I fold into myself a little more hoping that maybe I can disappear. "The potatoes are great" Gemma says trying to release the thick tension in the room. "Thank you dear" Mum says and I feel all eyes on me like I just turned into an Oompa Loompa and started to sing 'doom-pa-dee-do.' Internally sighing I sit down at the far end of the table rather than my usual seat next to Gemma. "So how was your day love?" Mum asks Robin and I can feel some of the tension ease.

"Good" is all he says. Can some god please take pity on me and just smite me into the bloody linoleum. "Um how was your day Haz?" Gemma asks sounding genuinely interested for once. I look up with a frown and shrug going back to staring at my plate. "Well that's was certainly a riveting tale" she whispers non to discreetly under her breath. "Gemma" Robin and Mum reprimand in unison.

She sighs and goes back to eating already disinterested in me. "Sorry baby" Mum says kindly over to me apologizing for Gemma knowing that she never would herself. "'S kay" I mumble and start to roll a few peas around my plate. "Would you like anything to drink love?" she asks in an easy tone. "Lily and I broke up!" I blurt suddenly and Gemma spews out her milk, Robin's spoon hits his plate, and Mum's eyes grow wide.

"What the hell Harold-" "Gemma language" "oh my" Mum says. "Why?" Robin asks gaining his composure first. Just the question I was hoping would be passed up. "I-I-I..." I stutter not really sure what to say that wont make me look like a dick. "It's okay baby. Is that what you've been so upset about?" Mum asks and I nod my head. "Well that still doesn't explain why Harry got his butt kicked the other day" Gemma says.

"Who did that by the way?" Robin asked looking me right in the eye. "Josh and Matt" I answer honestly seeing no point in lying to them. "Josh and Matt... why would they do that for?" Gemma asks knowing very well that Josh, Matt and I used to be friends. "I kind of... well you see... um..." I trail off still at a loss. I take a deep breath steeling myself for what I'm about to say.

"I kind of, no not kind of, screwed up" I begin seeing all of them settle down in order to listen. "I said something's I wish I didn't and I wish more than anything that I could take it back but I can't. Lily broke up with me and I can't blame her for it and when Josh and Matt beat me up I honestly deserved it. And I don't know what to do" I tell them seeing them slowly absorb my words as though they're foreign.

Gemma looks a mixture between pissed and upset which is understandable because the two of them had become sisters. Robin looks perplexed and Mum upset like I had just butchered Gemma right in front of her. Great there goes the whole 'trying not to make myself look like a dick.' "Have you tried to talk to her?" Robin asks. "No" "Harry you drive yourself over to the Crane's and talk to her" Mum says giving me a gentle but stern look.

"Okay" I stand up and get my keys.

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I pull into they driveway but something feels off. None of the lights are on and the little decorations out front are gone as well which is odd. A sinking feeling settles in my chest. Slowly I get out of my car and may the short walk to the porch. Once there I knock on the door but no answer comes. Maybe she's sleeping or in the shower. "Lily!" I yell while knocking again. Yet again I receive no answer and this is when I really start to panic.

"Lily!" I yell again walking around the house looking through the windows. I tug at my curls on the verge of breaking down. "Harry?" I hear someone call and I look over and see Mrs. Andrews watering her flowers. "Yes it's me" I tell her and she makes a sad face. "Did you not hear dear the Crane's moved out two days ago" she tells me frowning. Everything stops all at once and I can't think, breathe, or move.

It's like someone's hit the pause button on my life leaving me stuck here with no way out. My already battered heart crumbles upon itself and is carried away with the wind. Then all of a sudden the play button has been pushed and I'm on my knees wondering what the hell have I done and if I'll ever be able to make things right.
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Sorry for going M.I.A. on all of you. I've been mega busy with school amongst other things. You'll see the reason for the flashback soon enough. I hope that you liked the chapter :). I tried to make it a little longer. Please tell me what you think. Wow 1.17k reads, 20 votes, and 5 comments thank all of you so much :). As always thank you for reading.

Posted: May 17, 2015.