The Swedish Sex Bomb (LSD, #7)

4. Ferry (Go)

Ferry (Go)

"Aren't you supposed to stay in the clinic until the doctor says you're better?"

The MultiTranslate app translates the Swedish synonym for «what a pleasant surprise, I'm so happy to see you, dear» into English and sends it to my earplug. As Åsa, Frieda's mother, doesn't speak nor understand English, I keep my mouth shut and let Frieda do the talking.

"I'm glad to see you too, mum. This is Benny. His company wants Agneta for a photoshoot, but she's not at home and we can't find her. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

I get a hand, I get a smile, I get three kisses on the cheeks, and I get dragged inside: "Agneta? For a photoshoot? Yes, she's such a gorgeous girl. Do you want her to wear evening dresses? She's spectacular in an evening dress. But she's also spectacular in a bathing suit or a summer dress."

Agneta is even spectacular when she's wearing a garbage bag and a motor helmet, I think, but I don't say that, of course, as I don't speak Swedish.

Frieda tries again while Mum pushes me onto the couch, and orders her husband to interrupt his urgent business of watching the news to make tea or coffee or perhaps Mister Benny would like a beer. She sits next to me with an album full of photos of her successful daughter Agneta: "This is when she won the Miss Sweden competition. But that was quite some time ago. This is a better photo."

Frieda interrupts: "MUM! I asked you a question. When was the last time you spoke with Agneta?"

Mum explains to me: "Oh, please don't feel annoyed by Frieda's behaviour, Mister Benny. She's in therapy and they feed her drugs. She has these frequent anger attacks. If we don't pay attention, it will pass soon enough."

"I'm NOT taking drugs. I have enough problems without them. You know I refused to let the doctors turn me into a junkie.", Frieda insists.

Åsa turns to her now, annoyed: "I was just joking, dear. When you enter that clinic, do they remove your sense of humour with a surgical procedure? Or do they kill it chemically with pills and x-rays?"

She grabs my arm like a greedy bachelor would hold the wrist of a rich widow: "I haven't spoken with Agneta for over a week, but she's always busy, you know, everybody wants something from her, and sometimes she doesn't even have time to call her mother, but it's alright because we love her and we understand. She has this contract with Fishion Fashion in Gothenburg, and those people are so demanding, they keep her busy day and night, but they pay well, so you know how it goes. Ah, there's the tea. Do you take milk and sugar?"

When he hands me a cup of tea (an expensive cup of hand-painted china), I have a closer look at Stieg, Agneta's father. Blue eyes, light blond hair, a small nose and full lips, an athletic body and still in good shape although he's 61 years old. He's a more-than-average handsome man who seems quiet and friendly. Mum Åsa has the same good-looking looks, but she has the energy of a tropical hurricane, whereas her husband acts more like a polar breeze.

"Would you like some cake, Mister Benny? Bring the man a slice of cake, Stieg. Would you like to stay for lunch? We have caterers, so it's no problem at all, we just call them and ask if they bring herring filets and egg salad for one more, I mean two, if Frieda wants to stay for lunch too. Did you see those photos for Abbash Make-up? Agneta was in every magazine. They repeated the commercial over 3.000 times on Swedish TV..."

Suddenly, I realise Frieda is no longer in the room. Without a sound, she slipped away. I close the album and ask: "Frieda?"

"Oh, she must be puking around in the bathroom or something. Don't you want to see more photos of Agneta? This album is from the time when she was eight years old. It was Christmas, and she was playing Mary, the mother of Jesus, in a school play. It was a tremendous success..."