grug: battle for town of salem (rehydrated)

chapter 1: hi welcome

grug beast woke up in the grass in the town of salem and he was confused. he no longer had his coalgate five nights shirt! he wore OLD gross SMELLY 1600's clothes and now his beard was LONG!!!! he was not liking that fact and wanted to find sours grandma to complain. 

"im not gonna sugarcoat it," said grug beast, saying his catchphrase, "this is ass."

he standed up and walked around town. it was daytime but not for long because it was also sunset as well. he saw people also in gross old 1600s clothes just like him, and he felt bad that they were not cool enough to have a coalgate five night brand shirt.

just then he saw a very very handsome man kick a turtle. he was so handsome and awesome and he walked over to beast grugger and said "hi im mario but my friends call me christopher pratt or just chris"

grug beast thought this sounded familiar and somewhat unfunny, but he shaked his hand. "hi im grug beast i have 10000 million subscriber on tubeyou"

"what the tarnation is that"

"oh uh nothing" grug blushed profusely as he forgot this is the 1600s and that tubeyou actually does not exist for another lots of years. "why did you kick that turtle chris"

"evil turtle," he said, not elaborating further. "oh it is night time it is time to go home now"

"i dont have a home i just got here"

"that sucks" he said "wanna stay at my place"

"ok" said grug, blushing again. "i will stay at your place now"

they walk to chris's house and they enter it and it is small and smaller. it is so small that there is no room it feels like and its small. it is night time and so they just kind of hang out.

"how did you get here" asked chris

"my friend has an evil grandma and she sent me here" replied grug, twiddling his fingers nervously.

"wow is that grandma a witch we burn those" said chris, drinking unsafe water from a really really bad faucet

"i dunno maybe but she was really scary" he said "can i also have some water"

"sure" said chris and he handed a wooden cup to grug. he drinked it and thought it was the worst water ever, not even purified and seasoned with basil, but he drinked it anyways because he loved chris with all his heart.

"hey uh dude i heard the uhhhh the mafia is here" said chris and he looked scared. "my brother lives next door i hope he is safe" and then there were gunshots next door and chris looked sad he looked very sad with a single tear and a very very large frown and his eyes were big and sad.

"oh no" said grug "that must have been the mafia killing your brother"

there was another gunshot and they vaguely overheard a man talking in a very very exagertatted italian accent. "you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding luigi and you expect me not to make you play garfield kart furious racing? You have disrespected me, luigi, you disrespected my home, you disrespected garfield kart furious racing" there was evil laughter as it is presumed that luigi has now dead.

chris cries and grug hugs him tight. "it is ok chris i am here for you i will protect you no matter what" they then kiss and cry happy and know they are safe together and then the sun rises for day two.