Mortalized

Build Up (24)

     After these past couple years, I gave in and followed 303's advice. Therapy.

     It was strange. Going from never sharing a word to anyone about my past to HAVING to do such a thing. Anger bubbled within me to think of this human of all people giving me advice. However, it was either that or risk driving those around me away. And despite my alrightness with living alone, I had grown too used to having others around to the point that it was hard to imagine what I would do without them.

     It had been two years since Maple had been taken in. She was six now. An innocent creature. And like that baby cow I remembered back in the field, there was something about her unwavering innocence that drew me in; dared me to look at the world through a brighter, more colorful lense. Imagining myself of all people snuffing that innocence out of her was all too frightening for me. Didn't want to turn her into a smaller version of myself. That's why....Hhhh, I found this therapy necessary.

     Weekly, every Saturday when he had the day off, I would visit for maximum one hour. He would not be allowed to look at me. Instead, he would have to divert his eyes or put something over them. This made him all the more suspicious of who I was, even going as far to pin me as a king of the underworld, though he had no knowledge of which lord I might've been.

     I remained very broad about my past, making up names even for those in my life story. It was...oddly relieving at last to have someone to talk to, despite my little sharing. I kept hoping the therapist, Mr. Myer, would prescribe me a medicine that would magically fix it. Instead, he only had me talk in what became known as the most awkward moments of my life.

     What really stumped Mr. Myer, though, was about what he WASN'T ever hearing about: a mother.

     "Sorry if I touch on this topic a little too early." The therapist, sitting on his own couch blindfolded. I sat elsewhere in his living room on a rather nice sofa. "But I have heard not a word about your mother in this past month. Mind sharing why?"

     I cast my eyes downward. I couldn't just tell him I had no mother. I needed to come up with something and something quick.

     About a minute of thinking later, something clicked into place. "I never knew her as a child. It was only after I ran away from home..and started acting out that she found me." I tried to keep my story as human as possible, hence the part about the whole fighting ring being replaced with being forced to fight my brother out in the yard for our father's entertainment. She took me in under one demand: that I follow her rules and improve myself. I...had no reason to follow said rules. There were a lot of them as well, ones I was never taught growing up."

     "Oh? And what were they about?"

     "You know..." I looked down at my twiddling thumbs. "Things like....not hurting people, being polite, how to react to certain situations."

     "Ahh, she sounds like a very respectable woman." The man half smiled. I stared down at my lap, remembering the little things about her. Despite how long ago it was and how little she was with me, the memories of her remained vivid.

     Rey may have not been a biological mother to me, but, she was the closest thing I had to one..strange as that sounded. She was younger than me. Yet, she carried more hope and love for my soul than anyone else had.

     "...Yeah..."

     He must have detected a little sadness in my voice, because the man became a little concerned. "What happened?"

     "She...died, is all. My..brother killed her. ... He didn't recognize her." Was my excuse, so the man wouldn't further ask why my brother would do such a thing.