Phone Guy Dave AU

A Book Of Memories

(Disclaimer: Poggers.)

"Sir, I have some concerns." Dave says, as he shuffles around uncomfortably in the passengers seat of Jack's stolen freight truck.
"About what? You told me you were dreaming about going to Vegas with me. Now it's happening."
"That's not EXACTLY what I said. I dreamt that I was going to Vegas with you, but I wasn't exactly ME."
"You're always you."
"Sir, am I named after your dead best friend? The healthy thing would be to move on." Jack doesn't answer. "I was named Dave in my dream still, and we were friends. But I looked at company records, and the only Dave you ever worked with was Dave Miller, and he's dead, so it kinda feels like you're trying to use me to replace him." Jack still doesn't respond, his hand running over the photo album he had in his lap, he was hoping to add more to it on this trip. "Sir... SIR WATCH OUT!" Dave yells as they careen off the road and into a forest.
.
.
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"Ain't this great Sportsy, no Fazbenders to dig our graves, no annoying phoneys, and on our way to Vegas?" Dave asks. "Boy I haven't been to Vegas in like... a week. I wonder if it's changed."
"Dave... was it really a great idea to leave Scott in that burning building?" Jack asks.
"'Course it was Old Sport, if we'd rescued phoney he woulda called the cops. I've worked in more Fazbender's locations than I can count. I know for a FACT you can never trust a phoney!"
"If you say so. I guess that guy did kinda suck. You know what, yeah. FUCK YOU PHONEY I HOPE YOU BURN!" Jack says, sticking his hand out the window to flip the bird to the sky in general.
Dave laughs. "Well, anyway, back to what I said earlier. A lot can change in a week. I mean, we've only known eachother a week and we've already got a body count together!"
"Let's RAISE that body count in Vegas Davey!"
"Awww, you took the words right out of my mouth!~"
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.
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"Sir... Sir are you alive? Sir? SIR!!!" Jack wakes up seeing purple.
"Davey?" He questions, before leaning over and puking. He looks back to see Dave... the phone headed Dave. "Oh shit wuddup phoney!" He says with a wide grin. "What happened."
"Y-you crashed the car sir."
"Dave, am I upside down?" Jack says, finally noticing his predicament. He is upside down, still in his seat, while Dave is standing on what used to be the roof of the truck. His photo album is on the ground.
"Yes sir. You crashed the car."
"Huh. That doesn't sound like me."
"Sir-" the phone guy sighs, and unclips Jack's seatbelt, causing the orange man to fall onto the ground, landing on his head.
"Ow what the FUCK employee."
"You were being unhelpful so I decided to cause you pain."
Jack picks up his photo album and tries to stand up, only to fall further onto the ground. "Shit my leg." Dave looks at his leg.
"Oh it's broken alright. And I'm tempted to leave it broken to teach you a lesson."
"And what lesson might that be? Stealing is wrong? This whole crash is because the truck is stolen?"
"What? No, stealing is fine. I just don't like it when you talk back to me. No talking back to your phoney."
"Oh please you backtalk me WAY more than I do you."
"You know, I DO have medical supplies, and I AM programmed to be able to handle this." The phone guy says.
"Then can you help a guy out?" Jack asks.
"No. Not until you say I'm good at my job."
"You're evil."
"Sure. But you have to say I'm good at my job and you'd be lost without me."
"Fine, I'd be lost without you." Not exactly not true.
"Aaaand?"
Jack sighs "You're good at your job."
Dave reaches for the glove compartment and opens it, catching a medkit as it falls out. Dave starts patching up Jack's leg.
"Of course you stashed medkits in my truck. You're paranoid."
"Now that isn't very nice." Dave stops what he's doing.
"...you're loving this."
"Oh 100%."
"I will punish you."
"No you won't."
"And why not?"
"Too sexy. You'd never punish Big Dick Davey!"
Jack blushes "and where did you come up with THAT idea?"
"It just came to me. I'm a genius." Dave goes back to fixing Jack's leg.
"Well you're kinda right. I'd never punish you for being annoying. Evidently I prefer people who annoy me."
"Well. I can call an ambulance-"
"And then they'll find my stolen truck, bad plan."
"What's the point of having a phone head if I never get to use it?" Dave whines.
"There isn't one, you just have a very particular lack of a face." Jack says, grinning. Dave responds with a dialup tone. "So since we can't call an ambulance, and I doubt I can walk back to the restaurant, it looks like we're staying here! There's some food in the back of the truck, and some stuff for this situation. Believe it or not, this is not the first time I've been stranded in the middle of nowhere."
"I believe it." Dave finishes the splint.
"So I'm going to need you to carry me to the back." Jack says. The phone guy scoffs and picks him up, taking him out of the truck and opening up the back. Due to the truck being upside down, a lot of things are broken."
"Sir... why is the truck covered in blood."
"People have been murdered in here, employee. I've had this truck awhile."
"Right." The phone guy says, completely unbothered by this fact. Jack smiles at this.
"Ok just put me down on the box labeled knives. I'm pretty sure that's the one full of guns."
"To confuse your enemies or something."
Jack clicks his rotten tongue "Exactly!"
Dave places Jack on the cardboard box. A knife protrudes from him "oh wait, we did a double negative so they'd THINK we were tricking them but we'd actually be not." Dave picks him up and just puts him on the floor, somewhat roughly. "Dick." Jack hisses.
"I'm going to go try to find the quickest way back to... "bear"... you just stay here and try not to royally mess anything up."
"You lack confidence in me, David, that hurts." Jack says dramatically as the phone leaves.
"Just... please don't get yourself killed Sportsy..."
Dave leaves before Jack can question him on the use of his nickname. Jack smiles, sure, it's tough, but he can feel it, he'll have his Dave back soon.
Regardless. He's starting to wonder if maybe he should have just carved Dave out of the suit. He knows it's not why Dave wanted to be a phone guy, at least not fully. But if he had put him in a position where it was clear being a phone guy wasn't necessary for what he claimed his reasoning was... no. This is what Dave wanted, although he'd never fully understand why, besides, Dave looked good as new apart from the hunk of plastic where his head used to be, that's better than he could have done. He has Fredbear's help escaping his own springlocks.
Ah Fredbear. He remembered his promise to that bear. He had murdered 5 children with Dave at the first location, 5 children a Janitor and a phone guy at the second (a phone guy he upon further consideration believes might have been his own brother but he's going to ignore the evidence in favour of that to avoid thinking about how he killed his brother with a purple cryptid and a foxy), and now, he's killed a baby at his third location and got his best friend turned into a phone guy. Fredbear would be MORE than disappointed. He would be livid. He probably was. Maybe he could make things up to Fredbear. He wasn't dead and ironically Henry trying to cause some good ol' emotional pain for him (and a bit of physical) and Dave let him realize he done fucked up helping that fat strawberry, so he was about done with him.
What WOULD he do after Dave was back to normal? Save the souls? Kill more kids? Retire to Vegas? That last option sounded fun. Although he's not sure if phones can do drugs so that might be a problem.
He wonders what happened to Henry. Surely he can't just be gone. Not that it's anything he can worry about now. Now his biggest concern is his broken leg, and the fact that he's pretty sure Dave is trying to plot the quickest route to Bear by taking all of the routes. He'll call him in a bit if he doesn't come back soon. He's going to hold out awhile thought because he knows how phone guy's tend to feel about their heads being called. It's why he liked to prank call them with Dave, but he wouldn't want to do that to Dave, he's sure he's already uncomfortable enough trying to fight through his programming.
Jack looks down at his photo album in his lap. A quick peak through won't hurt.
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.
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Dave opens up the door to the truck, having calculated all the ways back to find his boss sprawled out on the floor an open photo album in his lap, Jack of course being completely unconscious. He's got a soft smile on his face while he sleeps, as if having a good dream.
He approaches the sleeping corpse, deciding not to wake him up. Dave decides to look at Jack's photo album. He knows he'll probably get in trouble for those, maybe even get murdered if Jack finds out, but he wants to know more about his boss, and why the strange orange man behaves the way he does.
He slowly removes the photo album from Jack's lap, there is writing on the page reading "second trip to Vegas with sportsy :)" he recognizes immediately that this is not Jack's handwriting. Looking at the page, it's mostly pictures of Jack and a purple skinned man in Vegas, each photo with their own caption, some in the same messy writing as before, others in Jack's only marginally better printing. The weirdest thing is that Dave recognizes the photos. As if he were there when they were taken. But there is no third person in the photos, let alone a phone guy, and he can't shake the feeling that the purple man looks even more familiar to him than Jack himself.
Dave has heard of phone guy's thinking they were people. Who hasn't. He's always been told that they were just delusional, however he's feeling as if he's starting to experience the same glitch. Deciding to go on, Dave flips the pages.
There's a long expanse of time in which the purple man stops appearing in photos, strange because earlier captions had implied him to be Jack's best friend.
There's a picture of an eggplant with the caption "I miss Dave, I wonder where he went." Dave's nonexistent heart skips a beat, Jack's best friend was named Dave. But he already knew that didn't he? Jack had a best friend named Dave who he was trying to replace. His dreams had told him as much. Dave had died, about 30 years ago, and Jack had hired him for whatever reason to try to replace him. Although that didn't feel like something Jack would do.
Dave (or whoever his is if he really is just some guy Jack pulled off the street to replace his best friend), despite his better judgment continues to read through the photo album.
He then comes to a page covered in rather disturbing pictures, even more so than the ones in Vegas somehow. The pictures are of a very clearly dead and decomposing man in a greenish springbonnie costume. Jack had titled the first one "I found Dave! He's a little worse for wear but he's here." The next series of pictures were of Jack, the corpse, and both of them together. Jack seemed to like posing the corpse, as if he was convinced he were still alive... Dave almost felt like he might have been. Terrifyingly, Dave remembered these photos just as much as the Vegas ones.
He reached the final pages with photos on them. There were pictures of him. The first titled "Dave asked me to send him to the factory, he just got back today. Maybe I should have tried harder to talk him out of it." The next captions were all about "trying to make him remember". He remembers all these photos far more vividly, in fact, he's pretty sure that one was taken last week, because he's sure he remembers Jack burying him in eggplants while he was in sleep mode last week.
It all clicks into place. He IS Jack's best friend from the 80s, he got springlocked sometime 30 years ago, and somehow asked Jack to turn him into a phone guy. All the weird stuff (or at least SOME of it) Jack had been doing had been to try to get him back. That is both the most psychotic and nicest thing anyone had ever done for him as far as he remembered.
"All this time he-"
"Yeah... I didn't really know how to tell you." Jack says. Dave gasps and turns to where Jack was sleeping. He's now very much awake and is sitting up.
Dave turns off his voice box, and approaches Jack, before saying the simple sentence Jack had missed so much.

"Why hello there, Old Sport."

(Note: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE HAS RETURNED! You'll all find out soon Big Dick Davey is not the only one who's back. ;) btw since Davey is back now all major full phoney Dave fics will be before this. Not to say you won't get more of just Dave with a phone head (I got a whole idea for a megafluff fic in which Dave is trying to find a way to kiss Jack with his phone head), but any stories in which he prominently has his Scott-like personality is before this. Gonna keep writing Scott Dave because he's weirdly fun to write as a sassy phone guy. Btw, personality wise Jack is supposed to emulate the way people play him ingame.)