miscellaneous britpop imagines + sometimes nu-metal+ sometimes actually scottish

spending the night at radiohead

(this is based off of the cover photo so look at the photo first and the reader is damon albarn)

You feel 2 gusts of hot bean breath hit your nostrils, the comforting smell waking you up.

"who is it?" you grumbled.

"it's only us, Damon." whispered Jonny Greenwood.

"good afternoon, damon <3" screeched Thom Yorke.

I couldn't remember totally why I was here, but my butt hurt very bad and I wasn't sure if i could walk.

"So, what happened last night? do I even want to know?"

I wanted them both to jump back into bed and give me a play-by-play of what went on last night.

"well, funny story actually..." the singer answered. His gorgeous cracked lips couldn't hide the fact that we'd all done things last night.

"Damon, we had a threesome. It was wonderful, and we would love to do it again sometime. Now let's go have some breakfast so you can walk again."

God I love Jonny, he always knows just what to say.

"Mmm is that what I smell on your guys's breath?"

Thom flashes his sharp green razor blades of teeth at me, and jonny nods.

I slowly make my way to the kitchen, wincing with every step. They both must've messed up my butthole really bad, but pain is beauty or whatever.

The smell of beans was intoxicating, it made me want to jump up and kiss Thom and Jonny on the mouth at the same time and get married.

"Hey, I have to go nurse this stretched out rubber band that I call a butthole, will you guys let me back in later? I don't think I can spend another night alone." I was desperate.

Thom, my king said "Yes, Damon of course we'll have you over tonight. I love the way you look at us as more than imbreds, you see us as lovers, and more. It would be a shame though if you left without some of Jonny's famous gay lover beans."

I scarfed down so many effing beans, i thought they were going to come out of my aching hole.

Kissing both of them goodbye, my eyes welled up with tears, knowing nobody could ever fulfill me like Jonny and Thom had.