(this is just another chapter no thom yorke abuse! see photo read from damon albarn's pov)
Thom was a sassy shopper, the most flamboyant boyfriend i'd ever had. He would spend hours and hours in the mall, but leave empty handed.
"Damon I bought you a surprise!"
He had just come back from the mall and was holding a bag that said "La Vie en Rose" across the front. He was grinning from ear to ear, so it must be good.
He handed me the pink bag and said "open it!"
I opened the bag to reveal a lacy sequined thong. Is this for me? Did he give me the wrong present?
"Well, do you like it?" Thom was starting to get worried.
"Of course! It's so... me. Thank you baby" I secretly was wondering how to wear it without the sequins cutting up my asshole.
Thom drove home quickly, obviously for me to put on my new garment.
We got home and Thom hobbled inside with his scoliosis body, while I was already halfway undressed. This was going to be a wild night, I could tell.
"Damon, baby, are you dressed?" It was Thom at the bedroom door, waiting for me. God I love how patient my Thommy baby is.
I opened the door like a skank, wearing my 16 inch heels from my stripper era. Thom's senile old eye lit up, the other one stayed how it always did.
"Wow, pumpkin, I've never seen you like this..... It's.....nice :)"
Holy, did he sneak an emoticon in his sentence? This man was happy, alright. I better put something up his butt before he goes wild.
"Thom, would you mind getting the box from in the closet? It has a surprise for you in it."
Thom was surprised, and even more surprised to find that it was a saddle like the one in surprise saddle, his favourite book.
"DAMON YOU DIDN"T!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD BABY I LOVE YOU!"
What? He loves me?
"I- I love you too, Thom. And yes, I in fact did buy the surprise saddle"
He quickly hopped on the saddle, not knowing who used it before him.
"Well, I better get some use out of this thing"
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