Amethyst

Chapter 14 - Safe...For Now

I'm in a black space. it's not the inky blackness where I chose Nuna or healed the animals, either. no, this is a dream. of what kind, I'm not sure. as I walk in the blackness, colours and light begin to appear. I begin to realize where I am. the field in my other dream, the one where Ben died and the two armies were facing off against each other. 

I look and see Ben fifty feet from me, the sword piercing his stomach again. the pool of his blood is still there, yet he's already gone, lifeless and limp. I run over to him, no tears this time but panic just the same. yet just as I'm in arms length of him, the ground beneath me crumbles and I fall into blackness, my arms and legs flailing wildly, trying to reach that field, to get to him and heal him. 

as I'm falling in blackness, a cruel trick is played on me. as I'm falling, I see Ben's eyes open and look down at me. he looks at me worriedly, and I look to the right and see Rohit approaching. I cant speak, cant move, as Ben looks up into Rohit's face. Ben looks scared, and I cant say I blame him. suddenly, Rohit swiftly looks over at me, his eyes glowing a hatred-like red. there's no pupils or anything. fear overtakes me as he swipes his sword down and cuts Ben's head clean off. I scream soundlessly, nothing coming from my throat. Ben's head falls into the blackness with me. I gaze at it and scream even louder, though I can't hear it. panic grips me, more and more, until...

I wake with a loud gasp, sweat claiming my body, my clothes sticking to me. I sit up and look down, notice I'm wearing a fresh white tank top and black leggings. I also notice my heavily bandaged arm from where I was burned. Will it heal? I wonder. I hope it does. my hair clings to my skin, sweat having claimed it in the nightmare I just experienced. I look around and notice I'm in my bedroom at the Amethyst Court. as I look to my left, I notice Nuna laying next to me, asleep. I'm glad she's here. even though it'll mean laying in my own cold sweat, I don't care as I lay down next to her, get a tiny bit closer so our noses are almost touching, and place my hand on her soft back. she stirs awake and sees me looking at her. her eyes squint with happiness.

"Hi," I say softly. She comes closer to me and begins to lick my face. I giggle, despite the pain my body is in. Soreness, I realize. How long have I been asleep this time? I'm just about to sit up when the door opens and two people come in. Callum and, to my complete surprise, Ben. I'm surprised he's one of the two coming in, considering how I reacted when he told me he was in love with me. They grab two chairs I didn't see before and sit at the edge of the bed. Callum is the one to speak first, speaking with a voice that makes me suspect he's gotten barely any sleep lately, 

"Hey Shelby, how you doing? stupid question, I know. I'm sorry."

"It's alright Callum. To be honest, I'm just sore. really sore."

"Yes, I suspect you would be. You have been asleep for two weeks, after all." 

"seriously??" I groan, my hands flying to my forehead in anger and annoyance. Well, one moves to my forehead. I end up moving the bandaged one too fast and a sharp pain winds its way along my arm. I cry out painfully and lower it back down on the bed. I wince with discomfort as Callum says,

"I'm so so sorry about your arm Shelby. The others told me that Analina did the best she could to help your arm. From what they told me, unfortunately the severity of the burn means that, even if your arm heals enough one day to be fully usable again, you will forever feel a twinge of pain." he says solemnly. But everything he just said abandons my mind the moment he said her name. I remember Joffrey. I hope he came back with us. I quickly say, hope beginning to burn in my chest,

"She did? that was nice of her. How's Joffrey, by the way? was Analina able to heal him?" Ben and Callum exchange looks the moment I ask that. Despite me knowing that Joffrey dying was a very real possibility, I still find myself starting to feel tears at the edges of my vision, shaking my head back and forth as I say, "No. No way. He cant be..." Callum says softly to me,

"Shelby, I'm so sorry. we all know you rode as fast as you could but...Joffrey's dead. the nightshade killed him. it was too much stress on his body. Analina told us she did everything she could but it was no use. he was too taken over from the poison. I'm so, so sorry." I sit there, unable to believe it. I've never seen Nightshade do anything like that to someone. I truly thought he would be okay.

That's when the tears break through. I cry for whoever Joffrey had in this Court as family. anyone he left behind. I cry as Callum grabs me in his arms, letting me be sad. As I cry, my body shaking violently with sobs for a person I didn't know very well yet I cry heavily for, my emotions switch. As I cry, I feel anger. we need to stop Rohit, Celadon and his soldiers. save my parents. break that love spell Rohit put on mum; so she'll love dad again. and I will do whatever it takes to make all of that happen.

Callum pulls back to let me breathe and I begin to gaze out the window angrily when I see it standing against the wall. The sword George gave me. In my anger, I find myself looking at it, my eyes unable to break away. I find myself wondering if I'll ever see the people I met during my time here. Clarice, Rueben, George. They all seemed very kind. 

As I lay in the bed, Nuna now snuggled up to me, Callum says simply, 

"There are some things father wants to discuss with me. I don't know what. But please, Shelby, rest. rest so your arm can get better. I'm still so very sorry about Joffrey. I didn't know him long, but he seemed like a very good person." 

"Yeah, he did." is all I say in response as Callum leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him. 

I'm still gazing at my sword in its sheath when Ben suddenly says, 

"So. I'm guessing that I'm the last person you expected to see come in here, huh?" 

I look at the sword for a few more moments before I turn to meet his deep purple eyes. 

"Definitely." is all I say, still so surprised to see him here that I guess I don't really know what else to say. 

He sighs, scratches the back of his head uncomfortably, lets his hands fall so they dangle in front of him as he says,

"look, Shelby. I just want to say that I am so, so sorry for the way I acted all those weeks ago. I guess, as I kept thinking about it, the reason you laughed like you did was because it was so unexpected. But I realize now that you don't feel that way for me. At first I just assumed you were acting or whatever because you didn't really know what else to say to my words. I shouldn't have run off like that, given you the asshole silent treatment for weeks like I did. Anyways, If you really don't have feelings for me, despite me believing, hoping, that you did, then okay. I wont try and ask you out or anything. But to the point of why I'm here. Seeing your arm burned like that, seeing you in such physical pain, I realized that, at the end of the day, you're still my childhood best friend. And no matter what, I can't lose my best friend, girlfriend or not. So because I can't stand the thought of not having you in my life, I've decided there's no reason to be angry towards you for something you don't feel. I also realized that it's more important to keep the special people in your life, not distance yourself from them in anger. So we'll stay friends; nothing more, nothing less. what do you say?" though as he says this, I can see a tightness in his eyes that tells me there's some part of him that hurts to say it, wishes he was saying different words. maybe things like 'Babe' or 'I love you' maybe even 'I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you' if only he knew I felt the same. Oh well. I've made my bed. Now I have to lie in it.

As I sit there, looking into his eyes, tears threaten to spill over. I play it off as just uncomfortable pain in my arm. Ben comes forward to embrace me in a comforting, friendly hug. That's when the tears break through, Ben believing my claim of the pain in my arm. He apologizes for it, saying that he hope the pain eventually goes away. I do too, even though that's not the reason I'm crying. 

We talk for awhile, me ultimately telling him that I failed, that they got the First Amethyst Gemstone. This causes more tears to spill down my pale cheeks, Ben rubbing my hand comfortingly, saying that he knows and that we'll get it back. At one point into our conversation, I feign needing sleep. Ben nods, saying he's not surprised, and gives me one last kind glance before he leaves my room, the door shutting softly behind him. 

The moment he's gone, the majority of the tears I hid behind sheer willpower breakthrough, my head falling back against the wall as I let myself cry and cry, Nuna laying next to me as I cry for what feels like hours