The Tame (ON HOLD)

Of deals and convents

"I said to hold onto the reins and not the mane, huh? You are too dull to teach and too headstrong to heed any word I say. Oh God, emancipate me from a life of larynx constriction and ennui."

The coach sighed, threw her whip on the lush green gramineae and stalked over to where the great white stallion stood, a terrified-looking Phina, its burden. She tried to steer the stallion away from the approaching woman but failed as the coach caught up with her. She gasped when she felt the coach's chilly hands on hers.

"My dear, did you have a medical deficiency as a child that your doctor neglected? Like let's say, a stick up your bum?"

"Erm, no coach", she replied in a wobbly voice.

" Then.", the coach said, patiently prying Phina's shaky and clammy fingers from where it gripped tightly onto the horse's silver-gray mane in a death grip, and slid a gilded whip in them. The horse seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and neighed loudly, its ample gray locks swimming in the blowing air.

"Relax, release every sort of tension from your system and focus on riding this reluctant and rude horse. Breathe in, breathe out, in, out,...yes, exactly the way you're practicing now", she encouraged and smiled, studying Phina take peaceful breathes.

The coach continued in a yoga master's sing-song voice. "Take control of the beast and will it with your strength. Assume it was the bully that stole your toffees in third grade. What will you do?"

"I'll stop assuming."

"No, not that you dolt! You have to punish him."

"By letting him have the toffees?"

"No!", the coach exclaimed in a yielding tone. "You've got to strangle him with your girl power."

" What? But that's illegal. I could be thrown into jail for murder."

"No, I'm not talking about the bully, stupid. Its the horse we're talking of here. You've got to let it know you're the boss," the coach declared, grinning evilly at the horse. It huffed and galloped away, tweaking its damp tail in irritation.

"Whoa, whoa Phina, control", she demanded, clapping her hands for attention.

Phina drooped to the horse's pointed ears and whispered persuadingly, "You shouldn't  get angry, Alofius. Mrs. Ludwig is just a coach. She's paid to scream herself off at people and terrorize them. Do as I say and I know we'll get along pretty well and fine." She held the reins and led the horse deliberately to a cluster of pine and apple trees, the coach warily treading behind them. The horse came to a standstill under the shade of an apple tree and began nibbling on a half-eaten-by-insects red apple left on the grass floor. Phina regarded the whip, admiring its detail of dark-brown strings and the initials,  H.K embossed in unadulterated gold on the the thin handle. "I don't need this anyway, I can make do without whipping a dumb beast to death", she said, flinging the whip into a tangled bush.

The coach grew red with indignation and went berserk." Holy Grail! Why did you do that for?"

"My apologies, coach but I don't need a whip to control a dumb beast. I wouldn't be able to commit such cruelty."

"Blah, blah, blah. Nonsense. I knew with you, today wouldn't be a field day for me and geez, was I right. You and that stinking, foul horse have conspired against me but I beg to digress!" She stealthily moved closer to the horse and stared in its forest-green eyes. "You won't worm your way into my affections, Alofius. I simply refuse to acquiescence!"

Phina started to laugh. It began as a low pitch, then ascended into a loud rambling notch that escaped her deep, saturated throat. She let go of the reins and held her heaving sides as she considered the hilarity of the situation. The coach stared up at Phina, her frown never wavering. "Tell me what's funny young lady, because I don't see anything hilarious around here. Might it be the trees, the squirrels, or the..."