London Rising (Wild Hearts Book 1)

Chapter Nine*

Music for this chapter: God Must've Spent A Little More Time on You by N'Sync, I Fell in Love With the Devil by Avril Lavigne, Take  Me To Church by Hozier

Caroline was right about the workload. I spend every available minute with various professionals. Twice a day I meet with a vocal coach in addition to rehearsals for the show. I spend anywhere from three to five hours in the dance studio working on my ability to actually dance every day. A social media expert has taken over my Twitter and Instagram and is showing me the ropes in regard to dealing with the public professionally. In addition to all of that, I decided I wanted to learn how to play the piano, so every morning at six thirty, I'm in the studio with a music instructor. I'm so busy, by the time I have a moment to breathe, the first JHP is done and I've been put in charge of my second.

It's one thing to make a music choice and be instructed on what to do, where to be, and when to do it. It's a whole new ballpark when you have to make all of the choices yourself.

I'm in the living room with four days before my next performance. I have an hour to make a music choice and memorize the lyrics before I have to meet with Jeremy for an hour of making strange, sometimes humorous noises with my throat. Despite the luxury couch, I'm sitting on the floor with my laptop open to Youtube and I have Spotify queued up on my phone. The past twenty minutes have been wasted. Nothing sounds right.

I flop back onto the floor with a groan, moving my songbook away from underneath my side once I'm settled. I'm so tired. I could use a good nap. But I can't take a nap, so I keep my eyes closed and start singing instead.

"Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep. Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep. When I look into your eyes, I know that it's true. God must have spent a little more time on you." The familiar lyrics soothe me and I prepare myself to get up and find a song that won't disappoint anyone.

"Is that 'N Sync?" A startled scream escaped me and I shoot up from my position on the floor. Stan the cameraman is standing there with another guy holding a boom mic. Ah. B-Roll filming. I sigh and grab my song book and pen, opening to a random page to look natural.

"Hey, Stan. Don't mind me," I joke and he grins and lifts the camera, panning the room. After a few moments, I start singing again, more for me than the camera but I notice Stan starts to film me specifically.

"That is N'Sync. Good song."

"My mother used to sing it to me when I was a baby. And when I was old enough, I'd sing along. Before she deployed the first time, she told me that she would sing it every day until she could come home. It's been a standing tradition for the past three deployments." I smile a bitter sweet smile as I recall our goodbye at the airport. "She's been gone for six months. Four more and she'll be home. I can't wait. I miss her so much."

"What branch is she in?"

"My mother is a First Sergeant in the Army," I close my song book and let it sit in my lap, understanding that this has turned into an interview.

"Does your mom support you being on the show?" Stan asks and I grin.

"My mom is the reason I'm on the show. She and my sister actually filmed my first video audition without me knowing. They only told me about it when I was chosen for an in person audition. Mom and Mila have always wanted me to pursue a singing career, but I never thought I was good enough. I didn't think I could make it, but they did. They believed for me and I will always be so grateful for that." Stan tilts his head a little bit.

"And now? Do you believe in yourself now?" He asks me and I feel my smile slip away as I think about it.

"You'd think I would, right? You'd think that having come this far in the show, and all things considered, I'd feel pretty confident. But I wake up every day shocked and amazed at how far I've come.