Is There Anybody Out There?

Chapter 1: Vernon

It had been about a week since I stopped going out again. Instead I decided to isolate myself. I didn't deserve anything I had, so I have been looking for a new place to go. I plan on quitting the band soon, doing it through a song I wrote. I had Jihoon help me with the music without showing him the real lyrics.

Without telling me, he had sent it to the others to learn. I guess that's what we normally do but it wasn't what I had planned. I was skipping practice, telling them I need more time. That's what lead me to the current predicament I was in. Surrounded by my band mates since Joshua had let them into my room after I told him no.

"Hansol, we have to play tonight, we promised Chris!" Wonwoo said to me, a frown on his face.

"I haven't even been to practice!" I responded to him, shaking my head.

"Come on Vernon, we need you, please just come out tonight, you got this," Seungcheol said, also giving me a frown.

"I'll buy you a drink!" I heard Mingyu exclaim as he jumped up.

"Guys seriously I don't think I can..."

Minghao patted my back, "Please do it for them, they even learned your new song! They'd love to hear the lyrics tonight."

"Yeah, we wanna do it first! I know it's about how you feel so maybe it can get some frustration out!" Joshua told me, a small supportive smile on his face.

I just sighed, I didn't want to do this so soon, but I guess I have to, "Fine. I have to finish the lyrics though."

"YAAAY!!" Mingyu cheered, patting my back.

"Thank you Hansol, you really will feel better afterwards." Seungcheol said with a smile, patting my head as he got up and walked out.

The rest got up and followed, the happy chatter following them out the door. Joshua was still beside me smiling.

"I'm proud of you. I remember how much passion you used to have for this. Going a week without playing made you so anxious to play again. I can't believe it's been over a month since we last played. I know you'll feel better after."

I just nodded, looking down at my hands, "When is it?"

"We need to be there by 8 to set up but we go on at 9."

I just nodded again as he walked out. I got up and looked at the time, 6pm. I just sighed before making my way to the shower, figuring I might as well look like I care.

I finished most of the lyrics in my head as I showered, all but the last few lines. I knew I wanted something powerful. Maybe something telling them I'm quitting. I got out of the shower and dried off, trying to style my hair with the hair dryer. It ended up just looking messy but whatever.

I went back to my room and looked around the closet. Most of everything was dirty. I hadn't done laundry in weeks. I found some old blue jeans and threw them on, not really finding any shirts clean so I grabbed a white tank top I found and threw it on. I needed something on top. I tried to find a leather jacket but it was nowhere to be found, I guess I left it at a bar during my low-key alcoholic spiral. I just sighed as I grabbed the first jacket I touched, pulling it out to see a fluffy white and black jacket I had bought awhile ago and never wore because Jennie told me I couldn't.

Ironic.

I put it on, adding some accessories before I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked dead. Dark circles under my eyes, messy hair, and this fluffy jacket. It was honestly so comfy though, warm and soft. I felt like a cat, which made me cheer up just a little as I laughed at myself.

I checked the time to see I had spent waaaay too long in the shower. It was 8pm now. I guess the others had left. I sat down on my bed, the book with the lyrics in my hand as I read through them and wrote the ones I came up with in the shower. I just stared blankly at the page, still trying to come up with the last line.

I heard my phone ringing and decided to ignore it until I finished. Finally I thought of the perfect line. I wrote it down and grabbed the book, going over the whole song in my head. I put it in my pocket and checked my phone. 30 missed calls from the band. Messages out the ass. It was 8:45. I answered as a new call popped up.

"Hello??!" I heard Minghao yell.

"Hey, sorry, I was finishing the song. On my way now. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Thank God. Be careful. See you when you get here." He said before hanging up.

I walked down to my car, driving to the bar, not really caring about the speed it took to get there on time. I arrived at 8:59. Good enough.

I got out of my car and saw the others standing around the band entrance.

"Finally! You made it!" Seungcheol said, walking over and patting my back.

"That's a cute outfit but maybe next time take a little quicker." Minghao said with a stern look.

I just laughed and nodded, "Sorry guys I was stuck on the last line of the song..."

"Well we can't wait to hear it. Let's go guys it's time." Wonwoo said, opening the door.

Everyone walked in but Joshua. He looked at me, a small smile on his face.

"I'm so glad to see you out again... Let's go have fun, okay?" He said, patting me on the back and opening the door again.

"Yeah, give me just a second okay? I gotta... Prepare..." I trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward.

"Yeah just be quick okay!" He gave me a smile and walked in.

I stood outside, alone. I looked around and remembered the words I heard last time I stood here. She's right, I'll never be anything. They'd do so much better without me. I don't want to leave them. I'll miss this... I sighed before throwing my head back and letting out a scream.

It felt good, getting that out. I opened the door and walked in, walking onto the stage without looking up at anyone. If I was going to go through with this, I can't look into their eyes. I can't see their reaction to this song.

They started the music and I started singing, still looking down as I sang the lyrics I wrote about them. I almost looked at Joshua as I sang the line for him, having to stop myself as I moved.

"Stop wasting your sunshine on me..."

My jacket was trying to slip off as I moved, I couldn't fix it without looking up so I kept fighting with it. Finally I just slipped it off when I wasn't singing and threw it down.

I kept singing, and as I got ready to sing that last line that took me so long to write, I bent down and grabbed my jacket. As I stood up, I found myself looking up at the crowd.

"Knock knock is there anybody out there?"

I found myself entranced, looking right into the eyes of someone in the crowd. I was supposed to be speaking now, telling the others I'm quitting, but I couldn't find any words in my throat as I looked at the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.

His beautiful eyes, his dark hair parted around his face. He had on a green shirt that complimented his entire complexion. He looked flawless. He was staring back at me and I couldn't pull my eyes away from his.

(~Harley)