Is There Anybody Out There?

Chapter 4: Vernon

I sighed as I laid in bed, cuddling my Spider-Man. I was almost scared as I realized how much I missed Chan. I missed having him in my arms and I missed hearing him talk. I found myself thinking about him no matter how hard I tried not to.

It had been 2 hours since I'd been home. I couldn't sleep at all. I just wanted Chan. I don't want to like him this much. It felt like... Love at first sight. Spending time with him made it worse.

The fact that he was a boy and I'd never liked a boy before was also scary. I know how girls work, I guess. I asked Jennie out but something in me tells me that Chan is different. Chan is harder. Chan is more important. Chan deserves better and maybe he won't like me.

My thoughts got dark as I thought about things Jennie had said to me. Why would Chan like me back? Sure he cuddled into me but maybe he's just touchy with his friends? I did see Soonyoung hug him...

Why would he like me? I'm just me. I'm an asshole. I tried to leave my friends. He made me feel so... Alive and positive when I'm with him. I threw my hands down before grabbing my phone.

"Hey Channie... I had a really good time tonight. Sorry if this wakes you up. I just wanted to let you know I did get home safely, thanks to you. I can't wait for tomorrow."

I sent it and then threw my phone down. I hid my face in Spiderman as I blushed, scared that it was weird.

I heard it ping and panicked, grabbing it quickly and reading his response.

"So did I! And you didn't wake me, I've been awake since you dropped me off. I'm very glad you got home safely! Though I don't know how I had a part in it honestly. I really can't wait for tomorrow either."

I just giggled to myself like a little school girl, feeling better immediately. It was like he chased all the darkness away. Like with him all my scars are healed. Like he is the sunshine brightly shining through my dark life.

"You told me to get home safely so I did! You're still awake? You were so sleepy though, why aren't you asleep?" I sent as I realized he should be asleep and wasn't supposed to reply.

"I've been cuddling Dino and just... thinking? Why're you still awake? It's late."

He's cuddling Dino? I wish I could cuddle him... He smelled so good and it felt amazing to have him in my arms. He's thinking... Wonder what he's thinking about. Is it something good? Did I make him think about bad things because of tonight?

"Awh you're cuddling Dino?? I'm also just... thinking... what are you thinking about?"

"Yeah, I love him! I'm just thinking about tonight and how fun it was being with you. I really wish it didn't end. What are you thinking about?"

He's thinking about tonight? He had fun? I'm so glad he did. I want him to have fun with me. I don't wanna be boring or stupid like Jennie used to say I was... I shouldn't have took him home. I should have brought him here... I miss him.

"Oh, pretty much the same thing... just a little different. Maybe I should have just brought you home with me for Spiderman sleepover instead."

"That would've been amazing! I haven't had a sleepover since before I was outed by someone I thought was my friend... Maybe one day we can have a sleepover?"

He was outed by someone?? Who would do that... That's bullshit... I would have had sleep overs with him.

"Outed by someone?? And then you didn't get to have sleepovers?? That's bullshit Chan. Yes we can definitely have all the sleepovers. Joshua and I live together so it's like... sleepovers constantly. You're welcome at any time."