Other side of paradise (Jason Dean x reader)

𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞

The window to Veronica's room slid open, and JD crawled in.  Veronica was sitting at her desk, doing her homework while forging McNamara's.  Duke was smart enough to do her own, and so she only ever had Veronica do it when she was busy.

"So, what's your little plan here?"

"I need you to write some suicide notes," JD told her.

"No, no way, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over."

"We're not killing them!  Do you take German?"

"No, I take French."

"Alright... these are Ich Luge bullets.  My grandfather snared a bunch of them back in World War Two.  They're like tranquilizers, they only break the surface of the skin, only enough to draw a little blood, no real damage."

"So it looks like the person has been shot, killed, but they're really just lying there, unconscious and bleeding," Veronica said.

"Right!  See, so we shoot Kurt and Ram, make it look like they shot each other, and by the time they regain consciousness they'll be the laughing stock of the entire school!  Now, the note's the punchline!"

"Fine.  'Ram and I died the day we realized we could never reveal our hidden love to an uncaring and un-understanding world,'" Veronica read out, beginning to write.  "'The joy we shared in each others' arms was greater than any touchdowns, yet we were forced to live the lie of sexist, beer guzzling, jock assholes.'"

"It's perfect," JD said.

He leaned over her shoulder and began to compare writing to what he knew Kurt and Ram's to be.  She was writing it to look like Kurt was the composer of the note, and it was an immaculate job.

"Now, take a look at some homosexual artifacts I found at the scene," JD began, reaching in to one of his coat pockets to pull out the 'artifacts' as he listed them.  "An issue of 'Stud Puppie,' a candy dish, a Joan Crawford postcard... let's see... some mascara.  Oh right, now here's the one perfecto thing I managed to pick up.  Some mineral water."

Veronica burst into laughter, and JD made his way over to the phone sitting on her desk.  He picked up the phone from its bed and began to type in the number that he needed.  He heard the dial tone and handed the phone to Veronica, and handed her a card with a debrief of the basics she needed to say.  Then he made his way over to her bed and took a seat.

"Hi, Kurt?  This is Veronica Sawyer," she greeted.  "... yeah, I didn't expect to be calling either.  I guess my sisterly love took over.  I was wondering if you wanted all those things you said about (y/n) to actually happen?  It's always been a fantasy of theirs to have two guys at once, I was wondering if you'd like to surprise them... oh, sure you can write to 'Penthouse Forum.'"

JD grabbed a decorative pillow and buried his face in it, not being able to contain his laughter.  He needed to stay quiet, and this was his method.  If it works, it works.  Veronica threw some pencils at him, trying to shut him up.  His reaction was getting close to making her laugh, and that'd blow this whole operation.

"Yes, the woods behind school, at dawn.  And don't forget Ram~"

And with that, she hung up, and started laughing as well.  The two took a minute to calm down, but once they did, Veronica grabbed the mineral water from the desk.

"Lot's of people drink mineral water," she pointed out.  "It's come a long way."

"Yeah, but this is Ohio.  I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress."

"Yeah, that's probably smart."

JD smirked and grabbed the artifacts, stuffing them into his inner coat pockets once again.  Then he grabbed the note, folded it up, and slid it in a pocket as well.

"Have you been seeing (y/n)," Veronica asked.

"Maybe, maybe not.  Why does it matter," JD questioned.

"Because I'm their sister.  Sisterly love and all that.  Now, can you give me a clear answer?"

"How about no.  You're smart, you should be able to figure it out."

And with that, JD made his way over back to the window, crawled through, and began to descend.  When he got to the ground, he made his way around the house, and made his way up to your window.  He saw that you were on the phone, with a wide smile, so he didn't bother coming in.  He just watched you, and began to smile a bit himself.  It made him happy to see you happy.

Soon, two more assholes wouldn't be able to make you upset anymore.  Kurt and Ram wouldn't be able to mess with you anymore.  You just had to wait till tomorrow.

A/n: I finally managed to get my brother to watch 'Ride the Cyclone' with me (he hates musicals and I'm a theater kid), and he actually enjoyed it.  He says his favorite character is Karnak, and his reaction to 'Space-age Bachelor Man' is something I will never forget.