Other side of paradise (Jason Dean x reader)

𝐄𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

Of course, when you had asked McNamara to make sure that the boys didn't get shit-faced and take you two cow tipping, it wouldn't end well.  You shouldn't have to ask things like that to the person setting up your date.  Sadly, Kurt and Ram had taken your preference, and used it like a fucking checklist.

Rather than take you and Heather to a restaurant for dinner, they brought you straight to a bar.  Kurt hit on you the whole time, but it seemed even creepier than JD just being himself, and you didn't realize that was possible.  And it only got worse when Kurt kept trying to get close to you even after you shut him down.  Multiple times.

Then the two boys kept drinking and drinking, and ignoring you when you asked them to stop.  And since Heather didn't say anything, they took you even less seriously.  And it wasn't long till the two were shit-faced, and Heather was a bit tipsy herself.

Then the two decided that the most romantic thing to do was go fucking cow tipping.

"Is he sleeping dude," Kurt asked quietly, pointing at their first four-legged victim.

"I think so," Ram giggled.  "Come on man."

The two stood shoulder to shoulder, grabbed the cow, and shoved it over.  The cow tipped over, mooing the whole way down as it awoke from it's slumber.  The poor creature struggled to get up after it hit the ground, and you were looking for a way to get away.  You didn't like this.

The two boys fist-bumped.  They found their next victim, checked that it was asleep, and you were nervous by how close this one was.  If it wasn't asleep, it would trample you.  They tipped it over, and the poor thing fell right into a mud puddle.  When it hit the ground, a large wave of mud washed over you and Heather, bathing the two of you in wet dirt.

You staggered backwards, and Heather just stared at the cow dejectedly.  Kurt collapsed into hysterics, and Ram stumbled over to console Heather about the mud thing.  At least he was putting effort into this date.  You looked back at your date, and saw him staring at you.  He had just remembered what dates are for.

"When I get that feeling," he practically sang.  "I need sexual healing!"

"In your dreams asswipe," you replied.

"C'mon, why d'ya gotta make my balls so blue?"

You scoffed, and continued looking for an exit.  Then, you saw it.  Or him, if you cared about technical correctness.  There was a slope covered in vines that lead up to the main road, and standing there was JD.  As much as you didn't want to talk to him, that seemed to be your only exit.  And you'd much preferred handling JD's lies than Kurt's horny-ness.

"What's this shit," he asked, pointing at the jocks and their tomfoolery.

"Double date," you replied.

"Another fucking Heather," he muttered, pointing at the drunk Heather and Ram.

Then JD spotted your date.  Kurt was no longer sitting up, he was laying down.  Hell, he was out cold.  He couldn't be bothered with the person he was meant to be spending time with.  He looked at you, and you realized he had been looking at Kurt.

"Yeah, sad date isn't it," you tried to joke.

Honestly, you just sounded sad.  I mean, you were debating leaving, and you would most likely end up going with the guy who was pretending to like you so he could get closer to your sister.  And the guy you had gone out with was asleep, ignoring what you had asked.

"Well, now I'm feeling superior," JD told you.  "How about we go get a slushie?"

"Why not," you sighed.

JD took your hand and began to lead you away, and you looked back to see if any of your 'friends' had noticed.  But none of them did.  So you just shook your head, and went with JD.  At least you were getting a cup full of dyed sugar, so maybe not all was lost tonight.  JD lead you a little down the road, and you saw his motorcycle sitting there.

"Hey, how did you know where I was," you interrogated.

"I heard shouting, and realized it was those two assholes, so I figured I would get a quick peek."

"Oh.  Fair enough."

You were about to take your hand away, but JD spun you in towards his chest like a dancer.  Then he grabbed your waist and held you so that you couldn't get away.  Then he kissed you, and you were stuck.  You didn't want to let him know that you knew that you knew he was doing this to get Veronica, but you felt extremely uncomfortable.  But if you wanted an exit from this, you needed to just go along to get along.  At least for tonight.

When JD finally pulled away, he let you go, and looked you dead in the eyes.

"Kurt doesn't know what he's missing," he told you.  "Cupid can be so cruel."