The Hidden Box

Black-Out

Matt knew everything. He could have easily been the puppet-master handling this whole drama. But at the same time he seemed so...affectionate. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he had nothing to do with this. I had to get more out of him. He had been caught red-handed. My idea worked, Matt became emotional and had a slip of tongue. This was the perfect chance to make him spill the beans.

"Matt, what danger was I in? Don't hide things from me. I'm not a wilting flower or something who will die by enduring a little bit of sun!", my voice sounded desperate. I was pleading with him. It wasn't something I enjoyed but I had to know. There was no way I could help it.

"Look, its nothing Ok. You are not well, you're in a state of shock. Just calm down. We can talk about this later, when you have been able to come to terms with reality better".

I felt like punching this guy in the face. He was a jackass. An idiot. He was scared for himself I supposed. Not for me. This was how he was going to play this game. Pretending that he wanted to defend me when in reality it was himself who he was trying to defend. Some part of me was not able to accept this logic though. His love appeared genuine. He was willing to be patient with me when he saw that I was not very comfortable being physically close. He was protective of me and he did want to take care of me or else there was no need for him to take me to a doctor and spend his money. I sighed.

"Matt, look into my eyes", I said and held his chin upto my face. His big brown eyes stared at me and I felt that his gaze went deep down, much further than just the surface that was visible to all.

"Promise me that you will tell me everything soon. I hate being kept in the dark like this." There was no other way for this to be done.

"I promise Sarah", he smiled tiredly. "You are a very brave girl. My strong girl". He gave me a small squeeze and let go. I could sense that he wanted to probably hug me or something but was holding back. I appreciated it.

I remembered the blood on the wall. Perhaps my life was really extremely messed up before. Perhaps it was a good thing that I could not remember anything. Maybe if I lived like this , I'd be happier. Ignorance was bliss.

But what if my past caught up to me? Judging by the notes I received, it looked like the devil in my life had in fact already caught up with me and was dangerously close. I would not be ready when he would pounce. Matt knew what was going on, he wouldn't not tell me if he knew I was just a hairbreadth away from danger. He definitely cared about me. Yet I felt alone and unsafe. Helplessness grabbed at me and pulled me down. There was no use of talking to Matt. He was not going to tell me anything any time soon. Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled out. I quietly wiped them away.

Soon though, my sadness turned into anger and frustration. I had the perfect candidate to blast it out on. The person who was keeping me in the dark was right next to me.

"You know what the doctor is going to say to me", I stood up and angrily told Matt," he is going to say I am suffering from amnesia. I already know that. Apart from that he will probably find the cause of it which will be what? A blow to the head? A blood clot? That's not going to satisfy me. He will ask how it was caused and tell me a few a other medical things and make me go on my way. The only reason I came here in the first place was for you. You have been patient and kind but I want answers, which is something you do not want to give. Why should I listen to you when you don't listen to me? Its not fair!" By now I was practically yelling and everyone there was staring at me. My cheeks became red and I huffed out of the place in embarassment and anger.