Chances and Happiness

Missed Chances

"Did I really miss my chance?" Boss asked the person in front of him. "Am I too late, Eul?" he asked with pleading eyes.

Overwhelmed with emotions, Noeul froze on his spot, not knowing what to do. The man he loves is in front of him and has just formally declared his love. Boss was on the verge of tears, he could see. And his heart hurt seeing him like that.

If Boss said those words nine months ago, Noeul would have thrown himself to his beloved's arms and accepted his proposal before the man even finished. But that was before. A lot has happened since then.

Noeul took a good look at the man who sent him on a rollercoaster of emotions from the moment they met. Boss is still holding his hand as if he's clinging unto them for dear life. Tears have now started to slowly fall from those gorgeous eyes he oh-so-loved.

They're still sitting in his living room. Boss took him home as usual after their schedule and Noeul served him refreshments like he always did before sending him home after resting for a bit.

Today was different though. He noticed how Boss seemed off throughout their schedule and he couldn't pinpoint what exactly was bothering the man he holds dear. When Boss asked him to sit with him for a bit instead of sending him to his room to change while Boss rests, Noeul knew he's in for a serious talk.

Noeul doesn't know how long they've been in that position. He just knows that he has to say or do something soon before Boss collapsed from trying to stop himself from crying. Noeul found himself pulling his hand away from Boss' grip, which the latter reluctantly let go of. His hands seemed to have minds of their own as they wrapped themselves tightly around Boss, making the latter break down completely in his embrace.

"I'm sorry..." Boss said, his voice trembling from the mix of emotions he's been holding back since he saw Noeul this morning.

"I'm sorry... I- ... I'm sorry it took me too long. I'm sorry I was too scared to give our feelings a chance. I was too caught up with my budding career and my plans. It took some time for me to realize that what I feel for you is really love and not just a spur-of-the moment attraction," Boss said between sobs.

Noeul didn't know what to say to comfort this man who seemed so small now, with his tear-stained face and with arms wrapped tightly around Noeul's waist.

"Sshhh... It's okay... It's okay Boss... It's not your fault..." he said while patting Boss on the back softly. "You did what you thought was right back then and I perfectly understand."

He felt Boss stiffen. The young man sat up straight and held both of Noeul's hands close to his heart. "And I was so wrong, Eul. I'm so sorry," Boss said with a quivering voice. "So wrong. So stupid!" Fresh tears started to trickle down the latter's beautiful face and Noeul found himself being embraced tightly as if Boss was trying to let out all his emotions through that hug.

Noeul's heart felt like it's being shredded to pieces. There's no doubt in his heart and mind that he loves Boss. He knew that after just spending a couple of weeks with him. The attraction may have been instantaneous the moment they met but it didn't take long for him to come to terms with the fact that what he felt was more than just physical attraction. And he was sure that there was no other way but to fall deeper into the abyss that is Boss Chaikamon. He did confess once he was sure of his feelings. But he was rejected.

Boss did reject him in the kindest way he could, Noeul knew. Not just because they'd still be working together but he knows that the man he loves has a sincere and kind heart. That's why he tried to be as professional as he could even after that rejection.

It hurt every time he sees the man he loves doing things he knew were all just scripted. Those sweet words, subtle touches and loving gazes, all to elicit reactions from their fans. Sometimes he gets carried away and has to remind himself that all of the sweet actions Boss does in public are scripted. It was tough but somehow his resolve to help the man he loves to succeed in this industry prevailed.