Blooming Hearts. ✿ a jean kirstein x reader story ✿

Chapter Five - Rebirth.

You stretched your limbs, sore from the ODM gear and relentless fighting. You should have been used to it, really. All the killing, all the screams and blood. But you weren't, even after so many years of being an experienced soldier.
How could you ever get used to killing? It was a ruthless thing, to kill a part of your own species, much less your own comrades. The face of the Commander Pixis as a titan was still ingrained into your mind, unable to cast it aside.
You stepped out to the deck of the ship, looking around for your lover.
You spotted Mikasa to your left, lost in thought, as her hair flew wildly in the wind. Your gaze turned forward, finding the back of your beloved, deciding to approach him first.
His forearms were pressed into the railing. To everyone else it would've seemed like he had everything together, but you knew better. His gaze was distant, eyebrows slightly furrowed and you could almost hear him grinding his teeth.
Your hand reached his jaw, caressing it softly, making him loosen the tightness he had welcomed into it. His eyes fluttered close.
"how're you feeling, flower boy?" you asked gently, not wanting to disturb Mikasa.
The nickname seemed to relax him a bit, and his lips twitched upwards. You counted that as a win in your books.
He sighed heavily, his broad shoulders slumping with defeat.
"its... its too much. Its so much. I want it to stop and the worst part hasn't even started yet." He said, voice cracking.

Your hand travelled up his jaw and stopped at his cheek, where you rested your palm near the corner of his mouth.
"I know. There's... a lot going on right now." You sighed, "I dont know if it gets better. But, if its any consolation, I promise to be here with you when it does."
His eyes opened at that, "it is. It's plenty consolation, poppy." He kissed your palm and kept his eyes focused on you.
"you'll have your dream one day, Kirstein. After this last thing is over you'll be able to live semi-peacefully, somewhere safe." You said, leaning into him.
"semi-peaceful? Why not fully?" he asks. He wants to humour you, and you know it. So, you let him, just like all the other times.
"well you don't expect your kids and two cats to be quiet, do you?"
He chuckles in what seemed to be forever. You hadn't seen him laugh in so long, you had almost forgotten how good it made you feel.
His eyes crinkled shut, his hair flying because of the wind, strands of it framing his face. You almost forgot how much you loved seeing this sight, how much it only strengthened your feelings for him.
Your love for him was rooted so deep into you, and you had gladly let it. Your heart was in his hands, roughened by the years of abrasiveness to them, yet still so gentle to you. He had burrowed himself in you, in your thoughts and memories and happiness, that it almost felt like he was a part of you. you had etched him on to you like a promise you'd keep repeating to yourself, a line you kept saying so that youd memorize it. And truly, you had memorized him. you had memorized every wrinkle, every hair, every freckle and every scar on his body and mind.
And you'd never forget him. you would carry him with you till the day you died, and perhaps even lifetimes after that.
That wouldn't be so bad, you thought, as he kissed your nose and looked out to the horizon again.
It wouldn't be bad at all.

your mind was buzzing as you stood infront of the door to the "mansion" as sasha had put it, and she wasn't wrong.

The house seemed to be massive, the gate itself had tight security as you spotted four guards near the front. You tried not to stare, but you couldn't help it. You, like your other friends, looked at the structure in awe at the numerous amounts of windows, some with their lights on.

You could here soft music playing from the inside, followed by a rumbling round of laughter. It seemed like the party had already started.

Jean let out a whistle. "this is fucking huge."

You heard Connie whisper a "that's what she said", followed by Sasha elbowing him in the ribs.

"should we... ring the bell?" you asked. Marco shrugged, still looking at the building, taking in the architecture. you took that as a yes.