Tell Me You Love Me, Like You Fucking Mean It

I Don't Need Your Holy Water

AN; Steve coming to terms with being bisexual and that he is in fact, madly in love with a boy.

TW; period typical homophobia, self-hate, confusion

There is much in this world we don't understand. How time moves slowly, but quickly in moments we want to last. Why the sun is a constant burning mass above during the day, and the moon controls the water beneath, only visible at night. Why we exist in this time, this space, in these moments.

One thing Steve Harrington will truly never understand is, why he is irreparably, and completely in love with Eddie Munson.

He's been told his whole life that he would grow up, marry a woman, buy a suburban house with a white picket fence and have 2.5 kids. Typical nuclear family bullshit.

And that's what it is, isn't it? Bullshit.

Eddie Munson is a force of fucking nature. Wild, free and and undeniably beautiful. He's dangerous, and soft, and perfect. How can someone be all those things at the same time? It seems. Unfair.

Steve can't deny that. He can't hide from the piercing dark eyes, and that deadly sharp smile. The angles of his face chiseled by an artist. The bounce of his curls. There's just something... about him, and Steve can't let it go unnoticed.

"Harrington."

"Oh! Hey, M-Munson."

The two nod, a simple hello, in passing.

Steve is dying inside.

A bumbling fucking idiot. 'Jesus Christ why can't I just stop and talk to him? We saved the fucking world together and I can't say more than his name to say hi? I'm such a fucking loser.'

A spark of a panic attack starts to rise and Steve finds himself abandoning the shopping cart he was pushing to rush out the door of the market. To find solace in his car. He slams his hands against the steering wheel and leans his head down.

"Fucking hell." He sighs, out loud to himself.

There's a light tap on the window, so he perks his head up to check who it possibly could be. 'Of course.' Eddie smiles softly and offers him a small wave.

"You good, man?" He hears him say, muffled through the closed window. Steve opens the car door, stepping out looking down at the ground. "Uhm. Yeah I'm fine, just got a bad feeling and... well. Here I am." He glances up to see a worried look on Eddie's face. His heart is pounding telling him to leave. To get into the car, slam the door and fucking floor it. Get out. Go. Run.

"Do you need me to stay with you and talk a minute? I get panic attacks too now since... well. You know. Uh. Sometimes talking through it helps me."

"Oh I uh..." the world's going a little fuzzy and dark around the edges as further panic sets in. His knees go a little weak, Eddie notices and quickly loops his arm under Steve's. "Woah, Steve, let's get you to sit down okay? Easy..." he helps lower him back into the drivers seat of the BMW.

'He called me Steve.'

"Can you hear me?" Steve nods, his breaths coming in and out harsher and quicker than before. Like he's been running for miles. "Can you look at me?" He shakes his head and focuses on the ground and his feet. "Okay, that's okay sweetheart, let's get your breathing under control, yeah? Can you take a deep breath for me?" Eddie squats down in front of Steve, grabs his hand holding it against his chest. "In and out with me, okay?" He nods slowly. Eddie's warm. Grounding.

In. 1...2...3...4...Out. 1...2...3...4...

"One more time, Stevie. You're doing so good." Reassuring. Kind. Praise hits him like a ton of bricks, causing a flush to crawl. He's not used to it. Not used to being cared about in this way, not used to someone helping him.