Here I was standing over the all too familiar sink with blood pouring from my wrist. The shiny metal object still held in my hand as I looked in the mirror at myself disappointedly. I hate myself and I just want to die, but I'd never commit suicide. I couldn't do that but if I was walking and a car came speeding in my direction I wouldn't move. I washed off my arm and grabbed a bandage from the cupboard. I pulled down my sleeve and entered my bedroom. I put the blade in the usual place under my books on my top shelf and sat on my bed with my earphones in watching my favorite YouTuber Philip Lester. He has beautiful blue/green eyes and crisp black hair and I love him. I have been noticed by him a few times but nothing major, nothing compared to what I want. I have always thought about meeting him and talking to him and I know that we would click straight away. We both love the same things such as muse and anime, but the problem is that I'm just another obsessive fan.
I finished watching Phil's new video and left a comment saying how much he inspires me, then I opened up my twitter and sent him another message, like I do everyday. As I did this my mom called me down for tea so I shut my laptop and made my way downstairs. There is nothing wrong with my family, I'm the problem if anything. They are happy, my mum, dad and little brother Adrian, but then there's me. Their depressed child.
I sat at the table in my usual chair and blocked out the full conversation as I ate. I ate as quickly as possible and made my way back up to my room. I opened my door as my laptop made a noise symbolizing I had a new twitter dm so I went over to check.
