Running Over Thoughts

part 7: hate

i wanna apologize for the short  chapter and spelling mistakes.  I have a bunch of ideas i just dont know how to put them into words.. yaaa

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Delilah's P.O.V

i lay in bed thinking..I have 2 days left with Zayn here and honestly i dont wanna leave. I know i cant stay here forever because he's leaving montreal soon. I think i have feelings for zayn and i think he might like me back, hopefully. But i am such an awkward person that our whole relationship i would be a shy awkward mess, so thats never gonna happen. One thing about me is that im scared to like someone, im scared to fall in love. Not because im afraid their gonna break my heart, I just dont wanna make a fool out of myself then they'll judge me and not like me anymore. Ive never had luck with boys, i was never the prettiest or smartest or funiest. I was always the shy one who stood in her best friends shadow. Until i met lauren who has the same problem as me, so were awkward buddies and i dont get jelous of her because she doesnt get all the guys. God why does she have to be in florida, I mean i happy that she finaly got to go away, but wrong timing. Now im stuck with Jill, the pretty, funny, outgoing one that outpowered me in junior high. Im thankful she's taking me in.

Im scared, i dont know what im going to, i cant stay with her forever. I need to get my own place but the only money i have is the money im saving for college. I guess im not going to college for a while then.

I got out of bed and headed down stairs and went to the computers in the lobby, i looked for cheap appartments, i honestly didnt care if they were shit. i didnt want it to be old and smelly but if it wasnt modern i was okay with that. I finaly found one, one bedroom one bath, kitchennette. 600 sq. ft. and cheap.. It was really small but its just me. plus the old owner left almost everything there so i didnt need to buy furniture. I called and talked to the owner for about 10 minutes she was super nice and said i could move in anytime. YES, now i dont need to live with Jill.

i headed back upstairs, zayn was awake

"heey, zayn" i smiled at him

"heey, deli, where where you" he questions

"ohh, i found an appartment, i didnt feel like staying with my friend, which rminds me i have to tell her im not comming" i say grabbing a glass of juice

"ohh, thats good news" he said, this convo was getting awkward fast. i walked out and called Jill and told her i found a place to live. She sounded relived on the phone which pissed me off, she was suposedly my friend, but i knew she actually hated me, god why does everyone hate me.. I sat on the floor and stared blankly at god knows what, i felt a warm tear spill out my eye. To be honest im a crier, im not a needy crier that cries when she doesnt get what she want, im a frustaded and sad crier, and i dont make a big deal out of it. I heard the door creep open, It was Zayn. GREAT now he has to see me cry. Now i look weak.

"whats wrong" he wispers hugging me into his chest

"nothing, i dont wanna talk about it" i pulled my head off his shoulder to look at him, he placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into........................