A Queens Sorrow

Chapter 16: The Empty Hearted

The curtains danced in the winter air...

The castle greeter handing out welcomes, as the royal chef demanded the preferential treatment from all his food, his long apron, bushy black but greying mustache peacocking atop his lips as he fixed the ice sculpture and liquid Carmel fountain that flowed endlessly on a exquisite trinket system below.

Me? Although dressed with my finest dress and pursed pink stained high heels instead of my usual slightly dirt tainted tennis shoes, All the men glanced up at me, sitting in the balcony above, their masquerade masks deliberately hiding the true selves that lurked beneath. All though postured like a queen should be, my smile never came, I wanted it to, I wanted to go down and dance.

But "the queen is meant to preserve the peace, not get her boots scuffed with the common rabble" I remember my advisers quip annoyingly echoing through my ears time and time again as he fitted the dress upon me pin sticks and all.
in the moment I shrugged it off, telling myself "maybe he's joking" but alas, he was not.
The royal guards posted outside this balcony were not of my choice but the under advertisements of his watch. Their large axes ready for any intrusion possible.
My eyes observed from above while people talked and socialized below, I made no mistake of being happy, the discouraged frown was put on display for everyone to see, for everyone to gawk at and spread more rumors about how it was that a princess who has been pardoned off all past crimes has just now been absolved into being neighborly towards every half cocked prince and king from the towns and kingdoms beside and below my own. 

I hated it so much. The watching. The waiting. That I drifted off to sleep, tears strung out my eyes as I noticed that he never came, so I sat there head up straight, posture a bit unladylike and drifted into a delightful nap..I needed an escape from my reality, my responsibilities, and the constant pugnacity in the air. And so that's exactly what I did. Escaped into a place where I could for once be free of all pleasantries and just be me, my
Happy place, my dreamscape.