𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕣'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕥 // Tengen Uzui x reader (+18)

Chapter 55 | Speechless

He looks exactly like you last saw him. Every jewel and clothing sits on the same spot. You could swear the make-up was fixed to his skin if you wouldn't have seen him take it off. It's a miracle.
The silence following your observation isn't awkward yet not comfortable. Tengen-san is the first one to break it. His gaze drops to your mouth; your gritted teeth.
"Are you- yes you're still a human", he comments.
However there's no judgement in his voice but sorrow and you don't know what convinced him to believe that you are still a human. It's possible he heard it. Maybe the speed of your blood circulating in your body gave you away or the fact that both of you are standing in pure sunlight and you in fact do not burn.

You throw all the loathing for Tengen-san into your eyes as you glare at him. He backs up. Not because he's afraid but because he understands you want distance between him and you. Because he knows you. And this alone is enough to lose every interest in having an adult conversation.
You're actually impressed his first action wasn't to preen on himself like he always used to.
Where's the flashiest of all now?

"Why are you here?", you screw out.
You lift your elbows to be closer to your weapons but immediately drop them as you remember the misery you brought yourself in.
Again, you regret not bringing your katanas.
If at least Tori would have been here she could have warned you about everything but your raven has her own missions. The latest was to steal Oyakata-sama's snacks without him noticing.

With his huge figure, muscular body and giggling blades you feel like a sparrow compared to Tengen-san. Or should you say like one of his muscular mice?
You will have to do something about them at some point.

"The meeting", Tengen-san responds blankly, still scanning you with a calmness that unsettles you. His marron eyes seem to see through your skin and look for every cell that isn't doing its job.
You cringe.

"It's tomorrow", you remind him, "and why would you come from this route?"
You have no right to ask this question, you know, but you don't care.
His mansion is west from here but he came from south. And randomly was near you when the avalanche rolled down. Funny coincidence.

The crystals clatter as the wind brushes against them. A sound you nearly missed. Nearly.
Tengen-san keeps staring at you but every emotion you had claimed to see left his eyes.
"I'm returning from a mission and didn't want to go back to the mansion just for a few hours."

Valid reason if it wasn't him.
"Why? Getting tired of your friends?", you tease by using the term he utilized to describe Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru for the first time. Before they told you what kind of friends they were. What kind of friend you most likely were to him.

Something like hurt crosses Tengen-san's features but instantaneously gets replaced by disappointment.
You've seen this altering expression before: Six months ago in the same forest.
"Is that what you think of me?", he asks furiously.
His anger startles you.
You expected him to agree with you.
You never saw him being angry of something. Not even when Shinazugawa-san insulted and humiliated you. Instead he fucked you.
Six months were a lot of time to overthink what had happened. The result was that you just can't get into your mind why you were allowing those things to happen in the first place.
But again, there's this tiny part of you who's reaching out its arms to Tengen-san and wants to be reunited with him.
You quickly shake that realization away.

"I know that your friends are living with you in that mansion. Everyone can guess what you're doing over there. What you always did", you explain with a bittersweet laugh.

You wonder when the boys will come looking for you or if they went back to the house to await you, trusting in your skills.
The forest lulls peace and safety if only you entered it and a huge part of you wants to follow that voice.

"They live at my place because they work for me at the moment. Just like you did. The only difference is that they..."
His gaze drifts away to find the words he's looking for while ignoring the last part of your statement.
"They just live there, nothing else. "

They don't get regularly fucked.
That's what he wanted to say.

His eyes don't lie, you can tell.
Something in your chest heaves.
You take a step back and wince due to the pain that shoots through your back. The concentration breathing is helping you but it can't perform magic. If you're lucky you will be able to normally move your back tomorrow without getting the feeling of talons slicing down your spine.

"Are you okay?", Tengen-san asks huskily and his gaze softens.
"Why were you here by the way?", he adds. His voice became more stable again.
Tengen-san doesn't come closer but the twitching of his fingers when you winced outed him. Something is holding him back. Or someone.

"To answer the first question: Yes", you obviously lie and don't try to make your voice sound less toxic.
"As for the second one: I'm currently staying at Oyakata-sama's place to train Tanjirou, Inosuke and Zenitsu."

Tengen-san still stands at the same spot like a statue. He doesn't come closer but doesn't back off, too. The only movement is his small ponytail and single strands of hair that dandle in the wind.
"Do you need help to get back?", Tengen-san then gently offers and swiftly scans every part of your body again as to emphasize that it will be taking extremely long without his help. You are aware of that. Nevertheless you are too overwhelmed. With everything that just happened.

"I'll have to decline."
Again, your eyes burn with disgust and hatred as the memories of everything come up.

Tengen-san's shoulders slump.
"If it's because of Makio, Suma and-"

"IT'S FUCKING NOT ABOUT THEM", you yell, suddenly not being able to control yourself anymore. A growl that established with other habits of being around demons mainly escapes your mouth as you bare your teeth in a more feral way now.

Tengen-san flinches.
He flinches. From you.
The satisfaction doesn't reach its apex due to the shame that washes over you. To behave like an animal or a demon in order to express your feelings.

Tengen-san swallows. You can't tell if it's remorse or dread.
You remember what an asshole he was in the first weeks of your arrival. Interesting how this changed. Now you're the asshole, somewhat. You could never be as much of a prick as him though.

"Okay."
It sounds like an apology.
He's searching for words but can't find them.
His face turns neutral again.
"Bye then", he says mildly.
His eyes are filled with sadness but you chose to ignore it.
He hesitates and waits for you to change your mind which would definitely be smart.
However you stay unmoved and simply dismiss him by turning around.
A fresh breeze tells you that he left.

Suddenly you're shaking. Not just because your legs have begun to give up. You didn't notice that the impact on the ground earlier had been this severe.
The encounter with Tengen-san really-
Part of you can't believe what happened. What he did and what he said. How he looked like, how he felt. The way the sunlight twinkles in his crystals. How knowing those eyes still are and how big his muscles grew.
The intensive staring of Tengen-san lingers in your guts and gives you a flashback of the night he gave you that stupid hair clip. The thing you left in your drawer.
You wonder if he remembers it; noticed that it was absent.

You let out a deep sigh.
Looks like the boys won't come looking for you. You're not certain wether you should be proud or hurt. But you welcome the silence and alone time. The way back to Oyakata-sama's house will take at least an hour and the sun will set in about three hours. Therefore you've got plenty of time to think and cure your body before returning to a house that is about to be occupied by another person.