helpless: on pause

Chapter 9

Later that night he came over. We hung out all night like we did in the beginning of the year. It felt real again! I felt...Ok. Not my 'Ok' that I tell everyone, this time I meant it. We'd play with Mocha, watch action, comedy, adventure movies all night, and plainly talk. I couldn't help but get giggly around him. I felt comfortable but anxious at the same time. I still regretted stoping the kiss and every minute I wait for him to pull my into his torso and kiss me but it never happens. This is why you shouldn't hope. This is why you shouldn't wish. Just let it happen as it does. Bad things come free and easy and you can't stop them. "It's getting late." I said looking at the clock. "it's a Friday, Tori!" Said Brandon hitting me on the arm playfully. I thought for a moment remembering my dad won't be home till Sunday. "Hmmm..." I said laughing. He gave silly puppy dog pout and I nodded while laughing. It was around 3 and we were still watching movies. "you mine as well sleepover." I joked not thinking he'd take it seriously. "okay." He said. I didn't what to say I wanted to say 'I was kidding' but apart of me wanted to grin and agree to it. I picked up Mocha and pet her trying to avoid replying. He could tell I didn't know what to say and said," I can go home if you want..." I panicked,"No!" Oops! Too quick!," I mean...uh no it's fine I could use some company." I smiled awkwardly. "Alright" he said smiling. By 4 we were so tired and headed up stairs. I assumed he would head into my dads room but he followed behind me with a pillow from the couch into my room. I was a little alarmed and made a odd face. "uh you could uh sleep on the-" I was about to say floor until he cut me off," I'd be happy to sleep in your bed with you! Thanks for offering!" He said pushing my bed pillow over. I was about to start dying laughing because he basically invited himself into my space and also I laugh when I'm nervous. Hehe... I went into my closet and put on my pajamas. He was already in my bed when I got out. I scotched in trying to stay as far away from him as I could. I turned my head the opposite way and before I turned the light off he whispered," Tori." "huh?" I asked turned my head. He pulled my back towards him and kissed me. And I didn't pull myself back. I let our lips move in synch. I grabbed his neck and moved closer to him. What the heck was I doing! I screamed in my head yelling at myself but I ignored it and let myself on top of him. Nothing weird happened. Just 2 kids kissing that's all. No I didn't take anything off calm down children. He grabbed my butt and I squealed embarrassed but he kept kissing me. It lasted for about 5 minutes till I took myself off and went back to my spot. I smiled,"Good night." He grinned and turned the light off. I could feel myself floating! It was like amazing. Like how could a depressed broken girl go to a 'pretty' (In Brandon's words) girl who actually kissed a guy.. In her own fricion bed lol! I was overwhelmed and fell right to sleep.

-NeverlandDreamssss