A/N: Trigger warning!
People who have suffered or are suffering with any form of anxiety or depression, you can choose to skip this chapter.
**************************************
Shriya sat at one corner of the room after that call. She held her hair and tried to let that voice in her head fade away. The voice that constantly said "You are not good enough". She contemplated several times what went wrong with her marriage. It was always easier to blame Raghav for her entire situation.
But was she that kind of person who would blame her misfortunes on a man? Was it really his ego? The last time she remembered he was the one who fought to stop her from getting arrested.
Why was she so scared? This was a side of her she always wanted to snub and close. Shriya knew she had a habit of closing off and running away to protect her sanity.
Why did she stand up against her husband for some random person? Was it important to prove that person innocent at the cost of her marriage and children?
She sat at the corner of the room clutching her hair in the dark. She never let out this side of her to anyone. She remembered something from her past.
*******************
Shetty household,
Bangalore
*******************
Shriya was sitting on her study table and was writing her dairy.
Dear Mini,
Do you remember the guy named Raghav I mentioned to you? He asked me if I could be friends with him and made a list of promises. He even promised to cheer me in the basket ball court and agreed to follow all my rules. So I wanted to talk yo him about my deepest secret. Should I tell him that I don't feel any connect to my parents. I feel lonely and have always felt I did not belong to this family? Do you think he will judge me and think I am insensitive? Do you feel I will loose the one real relationship I have?
No! I will never tell him about all my fears. I don't want to loose him. Dad once called me illegitimate in the fot of anger. I know it's not true. I don't feel any connect to my parents because I am generally a lonely person and have my own small world with my books and you and Prakash anna sometimes. Amma is cool! I banter with her and Dad is distant but caring.
I was locked in a classroom today and he was the one who rescued me. He opened up about his ADHD to me. Why can't I open up about my feelings? I will tell him about my fears after I reach 10th grade.
********************
Shriya clutched her hair tighter and cried with loud sobs. She was at the verge passing out due to her panic attack. Her mind kept saying all horrible things. Her mind kept repraminding her about not ever speaking up to Raghav about her thoughts. If she would have spoken maybe when truth about her parents was revealed she didnot have to face such humiliation in Reddy household.
He has always given her space and never questioned her about her profession and choice of cases she takes up.
Sobbing she spoke to no one in particular "For me Aravind Bharadwaj's case was important because I know the pain of an innocent one suffering. I suffered alone all my life feeling not a part of a family and not knowing the reason for it. Trust me! If I could go back I would be more careful. It is painful and am hurting to stay away from my babies. Arihaan! My Duggu baby is suffering because of me. I can't see him with such resentment. What do I do? My Shirav and Reya are lost and clearly in need of me. But I am hell scared. Now that I know my true parentage and all the skeletons in the shelf I want to protect my children".
She sobbed even more when she heard a knock. It was Raghav on the door step. He was drunk but looking at her condition something snapped within him. He found a glass of water nearby and gulped it and emptied the jug on himself. When he felt he was sober, he looked at her trembling form. She somehow managed to open the door but she was sweating profusely. He understood and held her tightly in his arms.
Her panic attack seemed to subside. He kept repeating "You are stronger than you know Sweetu!" as he carried her back and her breathing was slowly becoming even.
It was in this moment when Shriya mumbled in his chest "I trust you with the children Raghav. You are a wonderful dad but I can't help but to want them too and you are adamant to having them for yourself".
She wanted to say the reason for her staying away from them is her fear of loosing them in the hands of corrupt people from the political world and in last few days she had finally gathered courage and made arrangements for their safety and now wants them.
He also mumbled in her hair "I fear of letting them go as I fear loosing them just the way I lost you". Shriya looked up from his chest for the first time into his eyes after all these years at such close proximity. He leaned in towards her lips and their noses brushed and were breathing the same air.
It was in that moment Shriya realised not to give in to physical attraction as she was vulnerable as she recovered from a panic attack. Looking at her hesitation Raghav also realised that he was still under the affect of alcohol and they both gave each other the determined look and backed off.
Raghav silently left towards his room and Shriya calmly slept on her bed while playing some music.
************
A/N:
How was the chapter?
What do you think about
Shriya?
Raghav?
Their past?
Am I rushing?
Do let me know about the chapter.
Love
❤ ❤
YOU ARE READING
Journey along a stormy path
Fanfiction"My cause matters to me more than anything else" hissed Shriya looking at Raghav as every inch of her body was burning with rage. "What matters to you or not is least of my concern. Get out of my house! I don't want you around my children" coldly o...
