Standing on Edge

On the Roof

She had had enough. She couldn't take it anymore. How could she live in this life when she doesn't even know who she is?

Mafuyu ran up to the rooftop. Her thoughts were telling her it's her only way to free herself from her suffering.
"Everything you know is a lie" The voices echoed in her head. "You have nothing left. Do you want to be free?"

The words hurt but she couldn't stop hearing the whispers, like someone was pestering her, like a devil on her shoulder. Tears started rolling down her face. She wanted to scream but who would hear her. It was late at night. No one would be able to find her either.
She kept hearing what was going on in her mind. "They won't stop. Why won't they fucking stop?!" Mafuyu shouted clutching onto her arm till it hurt as she continued her way up to where she going.

Once she got to the top she slammed the door open and the breeze hit her. She looked up at the sky, the moon wasn't out tonight. It was hidden behind clouds. She felt like that it represented her "true feelings" whatever they were but they felt like they were covered by a mask, something fake.

Mafuyu continued to look around. Looking at the world she was possibly never going to see again.

The girl continued walking until she reached the ledge. Is it worth stepping off?
Her breathing started getting heavier as she cried, looking down at the fall below her. The voices returned after a few minutes of silence in her mind.
"Well, are you going to do as planned or not?" She wanted them to shut up. "You can't just stand here all night. Do you want to suffer or do you want to be free?"

"SHUT UP WILL YOU. WHY DO YOU LURK IN MY HEAD LIKE A FUCKING DISEASE THAT WON'T GO AWAY."
She had finally lost it, she couldn't take what the voices were saying.

In that moment she heard the door open. It startled her a bit, but she didn't turn around to check what happened. Maybe it was just the wind? It couldn't be another person right?
She stepped up onto the ledge. "You see what's below, that's what might be your freedom after 2 more steps Mafuyu. Go on step off, it will do you good. Unless you want to live behind a mask for the rest of your life?" The voices had convinced her. They were right, her whole life doesn't seem real. She hates her mum, she acts happy at school even though it feels like she is pressured into succeeding and acting like she's okay and she just wants to let go of the identity she puts on.
Why does the whole of it feel like show, like she is a puppet being controlled by a master.

One foot at a time. That's all she needs to fall. That's all she needs to save herself.
She makes the first step but then she hears a voice behind her.
"MAFUYU STOP!" It was Mizuki's. Were they the reason the door opened when Mafuyu screamed earlier?

That's when she felt a strong grip on her arm pulling her away from the ledge.
"MIZUKI WHAT THE FUCK. YOU JUST STOPPED ME FROM BEING FREE."
Why did she just shout? Did she mean it? Was Mizuki trying to help? More tears came as she forced her way out of Mizuki's grip.
"I STOPPED YOU BECAUSE THAT'S NOT FREEDOM. DEATH DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE SAVED."
Mizuki yelled back. Did Mafuyu trigger them?
Her tears kept multiplying. "I'm sorry...Mizuki. But this is what's best for me, I d-deserve it. She stammered because of her crying.

Her friend grabbed her hand. "Mafuyu, if you think you deserve this you have another thing coming." They started to cry too, were tears really contagious? "I have a question, is it what you think or are the voices getting to you again?"

"You know about the voices?" Mafuyu asked because Kanade was the only one that ever found out.
"Mhmm, nothing ever stays a secret when Kanade's upset..."

"Ah, alright. But I don't know, I think it's a mix of everything. I just want to be saved. I thought Kanade's music was helping but it's not. I can't keeping living in this life."

"You can, and I'll help, alright? I'll protect you Mafuyu."

"Kanade made that promise Mizuki...look where it got me.."

"Mafuyu...I have an idea. Let's try the idea of me being your new guardian, forget about your mum. I'm going to help you get better. Help you restart your life. We'll find you together."

"Okay..if you're sure this is a good idea.."

"I'm sure. Shall we start your new life now?"