"Loki, my decision is final," she says with her gaze unwavering, set somewhere in the distance. It was dark out but I knew from the coldness in her voice that her expression held no sympathy for me.
'Look at me...'
My hands that were holding hers tighten and I shift on my knees, the kneeling causing a dull ache in them.
"But why? What about the promises we made? T-the dreams we saw together?" The lump in my throat hurt as each syllable came out but the pain in my heart was far greater. Was there any way I could reveal the state of my heart? Maybe if I were able to then she wouldn't be leaving me, Sigyn wouldn't be leaving me like this.
She takes a step back, forcing her hands out of mine, "Some dreams just remain dreams..."
What can I do? What can I say....?
"Love, please don't do this....you are my light....you are the reason I was able to let go of the darkness that shrouded my life," I beg as i stand up and advance towards her. However , for each step I take near her, Sigyn takes equal steps back.
"Please don't show up near me again...that's my last request to you...goodbye..."
"No no no wait, please. What do you want me to do?! You know I can do anything for you, my tulip."
"Goodbye Loki..."
And with her final words, I watch her disappear into the section of trees.
'Move, go to her, take her back, she can't leave!' My heart begged me. But I couldn't...I know I couldn't. The moments I spent begging her to stay and to give us a chance were all futile attempts. Logically I knew her decision was final...but why?
All Sigyn expressed was that the fault was in me but left me in the dark...and somehow this darkness was far worse than the darkness I fell into when I plunged right into the hands of Thanos.
I think about the moments we spent together, the words of love we'd say, how we planned to live after our marriage, the risks we'd take just to sneak away from our families and meet in the night's blanket of darkness.
A breath of air escapes my lips as I fall onto my knees again, my legs being unable to work at the moment. I tilt my head down and clutch my shredded heart, unable to hold that up as well.
"Please....just stay..."I mutter, watching the glinting droplets of tears fall onto the ground under me; "stay...."
*timeskip*
"We think you should...join your brother on his next trip to Midgard," Mother tells me, glancing over to Father for a quick second during her pause. It was clear this was his idea and he was just using Mother to convince me, knowing of my soft spot for her.
I look over to him with discontent, "just say what you want; say you want to get rid of me."
He remains silent.
"Loki, it isn't like that. You are here yet you constantly seem so lost; we thought a change of place would be nice...to help you clear your head of past events..."
I can't help but crack a small smile, not one of joy though. I knew exactly what she was talking about....it was about her. Mother knew of us, I told her a couple weeks in and she also knew of her departure.
"it will also help fix your relationship with the Midgardians...and who knows, maybe the people here will approve of you more if they see you working diligently to amend your mistakes," Odin tells me. Of course there was some political reason behind it. I wonder if the man I referred to as Father ever saw me as a son.
'More like a pawn...'
"The Midgardians hate me, you know that very well."
"Yes, but we can't have an estranged relationship with them; especially since it's a place Thor looks after... Might I remind you that you only left the dungeon due to Frigga's requests; I do recommend you follow her wishes," Odin replies, with his tone lowering in the end. A threat, that's what he was trying for.
'Just perfect. Emotionally black mail me with Mother and send your "son" from a realm that dislikes me to one that loathes me so your actual son doesn't have any issues...'
My vision zones out on one of the pillars as I consider how to reply to him. Actually...just forget it. I do not have the energy to handle Father's favoritism today...
"Do as you wish," I say and turn around, not wanting to continue this conversation any further. The guards open the door and I stride out, making my way to my room.
"Loki!" I hear Mother's voice call.
"Apologies but I wish to be alone right now..." I say back, my tone softer with her.
She calls my name again and I feel her hands wrap around my arm to stop my steps. Taking a deep breath, I turn to her.
"Loki, dear, I prefer you see it as an opportunity to grow. We all make mistakes but those mistakes don't define us, especially if we put in effort to change and work towards a better future," she explains, resting her hand on my cheek as she pauses before her next words. "Things happen for a reason Loki, good and bad. They teach us lessons we need for our future. Please don't hold onto things that are just weighing you down. As difficult as it is to do then say, we need to learn to move on from certain things..."
"I understand what you mean...however it wasn't something that's so easy to move on from, it—"
"It has been almost a year already!" She huffs, proceeding to straighten herself after a small pause as a form of composure, " A year... and all you do is hole yourself up in your room or your library, only coming out to eat. As your mother it pains me to see you so dull; all your little quarrels with Thor, the conversations we would have over tea, even your disagreements with your father I miss. It's as if you've given up...and I can't bear to see you in such a way."
Mother's voice was barely over a whisper and it was evident how she was struggling to keep her wobbly tone clear.
I don't want to go. I was perfectly fine sticking to my every day schedule with limited interactions. But if it's hurting one of the few people I care about, then what? This was the exact reason Father had mother tell me, he knew I couldn't deny her...
Watching the wrinkles around her eyes lessen as I rest my own hand on hers, I make the unfortunate decision; "alright. If it pleases you, I shall go..."
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- I hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter! I'll try my best to update weekly but I hope you guys understand that I am a full time uni student so please be lenient 😅 Ablaze takes place some time after Avengers 1 and it's with the original 6 like my other fics. I feel that if I include all the others characters then it'll take the focus away from the mains so I just keep it to the Og 6. That's all for now; I hope everyone is safe and healthy ♥️
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ablaze
FanfictionA Loki fanfic ~ "I lunge from where I was standing, with the full intent to kill. He can't live happily after ruining so many lives, after killing so many people....he doesn't have the right to stay in my home...he doesn't have the right to live. "...