Waste Of Time (Seongjoong)

~7~

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"Do you want to know me?"
I stared at the boy lying on the bed underneath me. His eyes wide and shiny. His irises so dark they reflected every flicker of light they could catch causing them to appear almost glittery.

"Huh?"
Seonghwa hummed, the confusion resting in his face was evident, drawing a small laugh from me. Though I couldn't understand his confusion, I chose not to ask.
"I have an idea, okay?"
He nods.
"Ask me question, and I'll ask you one."
Another nod.
"I ask first?"

"Mhm!"
I replied excitedly.
"Hmm..."
There was a moment of silence as he thought, opening than closing his mouth once, twice, and the the third time words finally come out.
"What's your favorite color?"
He shrugs. I laugh.
"I was expecting something a bit more personal, but black."

"Favorite colors are personal."
He rested his hands on my hips, gently squeezing the skin, reminding me of the position we were in. Reminding me that I was legitimately strangling him all whilst talking about my favorite color.

That's a first.

Our conversation went on, and on, slowly the questions began to get more and more personal. I learned his favorite movie, his hobbies, but I also learned about his ex partners, his sexuality, and how he'd come to find that he was gay-

"My first kiss was in my freshman year of highschool,"
He began, shifting a bit to rest his upper back against the headboard of his bed, still keeping me steady on his lap with his hands holding onto my hips.
"It was with the girl I was dating at the time."

I hummed, assuring him that I was listening attentively to ever one of his words.

"She would beg me for sex, and I finally said okay because I just wanted to get it over with, so I said fine. We were both sitting in my bedroom, and she shoved herself over top of me, and like, crammed our lips together."
He laughed slightly after his last sentence.
"So, I kissed back... Kinda? I wasn't enjoying myself, at all, actually. So after she pulled away she grabbed my shirt to try and undress me. But I wouldn't let her."
He closed his eyes a moment, filing through his memory of the moment.
"She got upset and dumped me,"
He finally laughed out.

"I'm sorry."
I said, dragging my fingertips over his ribs.
"Oh, don't be. I was happy to be out of that relationship. After that I finally actually accepted that I was attracted to men."
I nodded.

The room fell silent as we stared at each other.
"I have one more question for you"
I said after a moment, breaking the silence.
"Why won't you allow me to undress you?"

He didn't answer. He just laid there, eyes wide. He opened his mouth a few times, though still not answering.
"You don't have to answer, Seonghwa."
He nodded and stayed in his silence. I learned down twords him, wanting nothing more then to press my lips against his, but I waited until his pulled me down to do so.

He kissed me once, quick, almost immediately pushing me away. I didn't mind though. The quick kiss was just as sweet as it would've been if it were longer.

"Are you hungry?"
Seonghwa asked me again, hours after he'd asked the first time. This time I nodded. Agreeing to eating somethine with him. He smiled at me.
"Yay! I'll make you something."
He gently lifted my hips, guiding me off his lap, something I wasn't expecting him to do, but certainly didn't mind the kind touch.