Waste Of Time (Seongjoong)

~16~

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I was nothing short of a mess at work every day since I'd spoken to Hongjoong which just so happened to be nearly a month ago. The amount of orders I'd messed up had to be a new world record. Yeosang though, still surprisingly had his sweet smile rested on his face that he always had, with close to zero annoyance at me. He just continued on with his work, constantly fixing my mistakes.

Finally, we get to lock the doors and flip the florescent 'open' sign off, always the best part of the work day, Yeosang quietly cheered to himself as we stepped out of the café, something he did literally every night with the same tone of voice, almost like a recording that he just played every night. It was actually rather impressive that he could continually make the exact same noise every night for nearly two years now.

We were solidly in winter now, Yeosang's fuzzy coat was enough to tell you that. The sidewalk was icey in certain places, and our breath was clear to the eyes, even as we spoke to one another. It was freezing, yet my favorite weather of every year.

"You wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"
Yeosang asked spinning on his heels to face me with wide eyes.
"Not like, out, on a date. That sounded like I wanted to go out with you,"
He laughed trying to clear up his sentence to get his initial thought out.
"There's a party..? Or something of that sort tomorrow night. I just thought maybe getting out would be helpful."
He smiled.
"I'd prefer not too. But I do appreciate it, Yeo."
He nodded in agreement.

After a few more moments of conversation a short yet broad boy, with black shiney hair, and the roundest eyes appeared behind my coworker, bringing a finger to his lips to keep me quiet. He quickly slipped his arms around Yeosang's waist and picked him up like he weighed just about nothing. Yeosang shrieked in giggles, clutching at the hands squeezing at his stomach while Jongho spun him around a few times. I laughed along with them. Thoroughly enjoying the shrieks of nothing but pure joy from Yeosang.

Jongho plunked him back onto the ground, placing a quick kiss on his lips much to my surprise, and seemingly Yeosang's too with the look of utter shock he flashed me.
"You ready? I texted you like, fifteen minutes ago."
Yeosang nodded slightly, his shocked expression still resting clear on his features.
"Yeah, I'm ready, have a good night, Seonghwa, I'll see you tomorrow."
He smiled.
"We're not gonna bring up the kiss?"
I asked before the pair could walk away.
"Nah. I think I'm good."
Jongho shrugged, dragging Yeosang away by his hand behind him. I watched them slip into Jongho's black hyundai echo, that I still wasn't quite positive how it still ran with as busted as it was, it honestly barely had a front bumper. The engen shuddered as it fought to start, and slightly reved as he pressed the gas.

I made my way quickly up the rickety metal stairs up to my already lit apartment, I always chose to keep at least a few lights on for when I would come back when it was entirely dark. There was just always a voice telling me something was lurking in my dark, no matter how un-logical that was.

And here I was. Left alone with my own thoughts. All being thoughts of Hongjoong. I was beyond annoyed with him, I was hurt, and upset. But was that right of me, I was the one who confessed to him. I was the one to make the mistake, that part of it was entirely on me.

But if he was telling me the truth, how I had been used, was it a bad thing? Was it a bad mistake, or did it save me from getting myself into a worse situation?

I wondered if this was effecting him the same way, effecting him at all, or had moved on already. That simply and quickly. It wasn't as if he wasn't attractive enough to have as many boys wrapped around his finger as he wanted.
And he very well might.

I didn't know if he was sleeping with anyone else. Fuck, as far as I know he could be married with six kids and I wouldn't know any different.

I did regret it. I had never regreted confessing to someone more. I genuinely had extremely strong feelings for him, I felt fully in love, and I'm not sure if I had actually ever loved someone like I loved him.

He was perfect. He was pretty, and funny, and kind, and any other adjective you could possibly use to describe perfection.

And yet I never wanted to speak to him again. I wanted to stay as far away as possible from him. He was addictive and fucking annoying all in one breath. And I loved him.

I never want to speak to him, but I love him.

I never want to think of him, but I love him.

He drove me absolutely insane in seemingly a thousand different ways.

But I loved him.

And I don't know how to deal with it.

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This chapter is kinda really short. Mb, bare w me.