You. And Me

32// Classical music and beautiful memories.

SIMONE

Being back to all good terms with Levi was nice. I felt good again but something in the base of my gut told me that as much as I had all these good times, bad times would come.

That scared me because I didn't know what they would hold and I didn't know if I would survive. Otherwise, I chose to enjoy where I was and soak up the moment.

  I started at Levi for a moment as he slept. Angry, sad, happy, turned on, murderous, exhausted, injured, hungry ...... There was all sorts of sides to Levi and I liked them all, it was nice too see all the forms Levi took and enjoy having him around despite which one it was.

I turned from my side to lie on my back and spend a few moments to myself to prepare for the morning and my day. My sister's had closed school, so I could sleep in. Raven and Noelle shooed me off of breakfast duty so I had nothing to do.

Levi made a noise in the back of his throat but adjusted to my new position, resting his head on my good shoulder and laying his arm across my middle.

I ran my hand gently through his unruly hair, I liked how his hair felt between my fingers. His breath fanned my neck and his broad shoulders crossed halfway over my chest. Yeah, I really liked Levi. A whole lot.

I lay staring at the ceiling as the sun rose and cast it's pretty rays across the room dimly through my thick curtains. I breathed deeply.

So much had happened in a short time and I was left with a giant blob to process. Sure, I was back home and we were all safe and I was happy, but I still had a lot to chew through. The whole thing was very scary.

I was just lying there, thinking about nothing and everything at once, when my mind suddenly zipped back to the torture chamber.

I was stuck in the chair, bloodied and injured and the hits kept on coming and coming and they wouldn't stop. The worst part about those things is re living them, like the pain never ended.

Being tied up sucked, being battered sucked, being in so much pain that I couldn't think straight sucked even more.

  I couldn't breathe.

"Hey...." I heard Levi say. "Hey. Baby wake up. You're ok, it's just a flashback and they can't hurt you anymore. Focus. Look at me."

I was suddenly aware of how heavy my breathing was, my heart was racing and the fact that my hand was clutching tightly at the roots of Levi's hair.

"Come on," he coaxed, placing his hand at the side of my face and stroking across my cheekbones with his thumb, "breathe, you're safe."

I listened and tried to regulate my breathing and slowly I began to see the ceiling again. I was home and I was ok. My shoulder was healing and there was no other pain across my body.

I had scars, but they were just scars, nothing that hurt anymore. My sister's were ok, Levi was ok, I was ok and Levi was holding me safe in his arms. There was nothing to panic about, the worst was over, at least, the physical worst.

"Are you ok?" Levi asked without raising his head, still steadily breathing and caressing my face.

I released my iron grip on his hair and went back to massaging his scalp.

"I'm sorry." I sighed as he wiped the tears from my face.

"Nothing to be sorry about, ok?" He said as he slid his hands into my hair so he could massage my scalp too. His voice was all gravelly and heavy.

"Did I wake you?" I asked.

"I wasn't really sleeping." He said. "I was always listening for you."

"Am I ok?" I asked.