Apricity (l.s.)

chapter eighteen

I lay in bed, texting back and forth with Zayn, who's still at his family's, when I get a call from Harry. It's just been a day since we last saw each other but somehow, I already miss him. Miss him hugging me and kissing my cheek, miss him laughing about stupid jokes I make.

"Hi", I say, putting the phone on speaker and laying it down on my tummy.

"Hi Louis", Harry replies, making my heart skip a beat once, "How are you?"

"Bored", I say, "You?"

He chuckles. "Yeah, me too. That's why I called, actually."

I start smiling, hoping he suggests meeting eachother once more. "And also because I quite miss you a bit", he adds, and I feel my face flushing with warmth.

"Me too", I quietly agree, biting my lower lip as I quickly shake my head at how stupid I sound.

"Um, I know it's quite late already, but, um, like, do you maybe wanna go to the Christmas market with me?"

I smile. "Of course. Isn't it a little bit too late for Elia, though?"

"Oh, um, she's at a sleepover her kindergarten is throwing."

"Oh", I let out, surprised he'd want to see me without Elia with us.

"Yeah, um, you know what, it was probably a stupid suggestion, wasn't it? I mean, we could still do it tomorrow. When Elia's home, she surely wants to see you anyways."

"Harry", I say, "Stop talking for a second. I'd really like to going to the Christmas market with you, even without Elia, love."

"Okay. Then, meet me there at eight?", he asks, sounding relieved.

"See you", I say, "Bye, Harry."

I hang up, smiling broadly as I walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. "What got you smiling like that?", Liam asks, barely looking up from his phone.

"Nothing. Just going out with Harry to the Christmas market."

"What?", Liam exclaims, laying his phone down on the table, "You're going on a date and you didn't even think about telling me?"

"It's not a date", I say, shaking my head, filling a glass with tap water as a few questions run through my mind. Is this a date? Did Harry mean it as a date? Would I want it to be a date? Probably.

"Sure", Liam sarcastically says, "Is Elia coming?"

I don't answer anymore because I'll run late if I don't go to my room and get changed now. I certainly can't show up in sweatpants, can I? I try to push the date thought, that suddenly seems more than appealing, to the back of my head and focus on what to wear. In the end I settle for black jeans and a dark blue hoodie since I'll be wearing my winter jacket over all of it anyways.

I head out and arrive way too early and end up walking around the streets for a quarter of an hour before returning to the Christmas market because it'd be embarrassing if he saw me waiting there impatiently.

I sadly end up arriving three minutes too late and Harry is already waiting, but it's okay, at least it's not awkward for me that way. He's wearing his black coat over a dark green hoodie and I swear he looks so pretty.

"Hi", I say when I'm close enough, hoping he'll hug me again.

"Hi", he replies, widely opening his arms to offer a hug. I take a step forward, wrapping my arms around his neck as his go around my upper body and I smile at the way his cold cheek presses against mine.

"It's nice that you came", he says quietly, brushing over my arm as he takes a step back.

We stroll around the market for a while and I don't know if it's just my imagination, but I feel his hands accidentally brushing over mine, more than once, as we walk and it send small tingles up my arm and in my stomach every time.

We end up sitting down at one of the wooden tables, eating waffles and drinking hot chocolate. "Can I try yours?", Harry asks, "I really like hazelnut but powdered sugar is just supreme."

"Sure", I say, impaling a piece onto my fork before reaching it over the table and placing it onto Harry's plate.

"Thanks", he mumbles, his cheeks turning a little pink.

I smile, trying to breathe properly despite that feeling in my stomach that makes me wanna scream and cry at the same time, but in a cool way. Or just burst out laughing, there's no in between.

"You too?", he then asks, trying to get the fork to my mouth but bumping it against my upper lip instead, causing the powered sugar to stick to it.

We both start laughing, the sounds leaving his mouth making me even happier. "Sorry", he breathes, trying to steady his hand, "I'll do better."

He feeds me the piece and the urge to just lean over the table and kiss him right there gets stronger as the minutes pass, his laughter still echoing in my ears.

"Thanks, Louis", Harry says after a few comfortable seconds of silence as we both sip on our hot chocolates.

"For what?", I ask, my foot bumping against his under the table so I keep it pressed to his for a little, my vans against his boots.

"Just, like, I don't want this to sound stupid or anything, but it's hard to have a social
life that makes you happy, specially with a child. And I can't complain, I was so stupid and had a child at eighteen, well, not me, but you get the point. But still, it hasn't  always been easy the past three and a half years, never, to be honest. But you, you make it seem like it is. You make it seem like it'll be okay and like I can have fun with friends while having Elia. Thank you for that."

I feel like sitting close to a campfire despite the coldness in this moment, his words somehow warming me up from the inside.

"You're so welcome", I say, staring down at the pattern of the wooden table.

We don't talk much for the next few minutes because we're both finishing our waffles and hot chocolate, our feet still pressed together under the table.

It's getting rather late and very cold so we decide to head back home after a bit. I accompany him, our hands close as we walk the whole time.

We stop in front of the apartment complex he lives in and stand there rather awkwardly, him shifting from one foot to another, maybe because it's cold or maybe because he doesn't, just like me, quite know what to say.

"Was this a date?", I suddenly blurt out. I mentally slap myself really hard, God, why do I have to be so socially stupid?

Harry bursts out laughing and I press my lips together, trying not to cry or laugh or blush.

"Sorry", I quickly blurt out, "That was stupid, sorry."

"At least you're the one being awkward for once", he says, grinning a little before bumping his side into mine, his hands behind his back.

I don't reply, still staring at the ground, trying not to laugh at myself.

"Would you want it to be a date?", Harry suddenly asks.

I shrug. "I have no idea, if I can be honest with you. Maybe, maybe not." Probably yes.

"Good, because same. Maybe we both go home and sleep on it, and once we know what we want this to be, we'll call it a date or just like a Christmas market-visit."

I nod. "Then have a good night, Harry."

"You too." He steps forward, wrapping his arms around me before I start walking back home. Turning around one last time to see him looking after me, waving as I do so.

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