Dazai let the door close behind him, not bothering to even lock it once he was inside the apartment. Everything was still a mess. He didn't bother to even tidy up the cot area since he and (Y/n) left for the safe house.
He couldn't bring himself to even close the closet doors after picking out a dress for her to wear for her funeral.
Dazai threw his dress jacket off and onto the kitchen counter, slinking past it and onto the cot. He sat next to it, picking off various pieces of clothing one-by-one as he waited to lay down.
He stopped as he grabbed a black and white long-sleeve from the cot. He rubbed the fabric between his fingertips, imagining her arm underneath. Of course, the shirt was always hidden by her (f/c) rain jacket and those matching pair of boots. They made the most annoying squeak as she walked. How he missed the sound of that squeak.
Dazai pressed the shirt to his chest, lowering his head. As his eyes began to close, exhaustion washing over him, he heard a knock at the door. He dropped the shirt and pulled himself to his feet.
He didn't even bother to check nor look through the peephole as he opened the door. Kunikida stood in front of him. His eyes were red and puffy, a tissue stuffed up the sleeve of his dress jacket.
Nothing was said between them at first. Kunikida broke the silence as he asked, "How are you holding up?"
Dazai let out a sigh. "Not good."
"Yeah? Me either."
Neither spoke further, looking at each other for a moment. Kunikida looked past him, noticing the mess within his apartment. His eyes fell on the black-and-white shirt next to the cot.
"It was strange seeing her parents there. I didn't even know they kept in contact."
"They didn't," Dazai stated. "I managed to find them while the arrangements were made. I found a way to break the news to them."
"I'm sorry you had to do that alone."
"I'm not. It's better that I did it alone. Or rather than anyone other than I did it."
Kunikida wrung his hands together, the thought of her mother staring down in the casket with glassed-over eyes haunting his mind. Dazai asked him, "Are you going to go see Hinami soon?"
"I plan to. We're going to get coffee this Friday to talk. She's devastated."
"I bet she is."
Neither spoke again, wondering what else there was to discuss. There was no more for them to do or say. Kunikida couldn't take it anymore and finally said, "I'm sorry that any of this had to happen."
"Me too." Dazai looked down, his lips curling into the slightest smile as he let out a chuckle. "You know, if I hadn't joined the Agency all those years ago, there's a chance that (Y/n) would've gotten together with you."
"Don't say that." Kunikida shook his head. "We don't know that that would've happened. Let's just... not talk about what could have been."
Dazai nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Let's not wonder if things had gone differently. It's better not to know if it would have been any better than this or not."
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